Take a long walk off a short pier

Riddle me this, Batman: When does the ‘jumping circuit? connect in a child’s head? When does the thought, ‘It looks like great fun to jump from atop something down onto something else?? When? I ask this because last week when I returned home from long, arduous hours at work, I was greeted by two very […]

Some Irish jokes for ye

March is a time when folks start to think spring in Michigan may actually arrive. It’s also a time car dealerships and furniture stores have Irish-themed sales. There’s still snow on the ground. The air is still cold and, wouldn’t you know it, St. Patrick’s Day is here. To help all you of non-Irish descent […]

Beefy, burly, stout & full-bodied me

Some guys, yours truly included, gain a few extra pounds once they ‘settle down? to the good life with loving wife and picture perfect kids. Recently, I got to wondering why. Why do we get thicker, dumpier and more corpulent? Let’s get one thing out in the open: I’ve never been one confused with a […]

Singing, missing stuff & Big Bro

I never gave much thought to the scientific study of how particular qualities or traits are transmitted from parents to offspring. And yes, you would be correct to say I probably didn’t think about it much, because I have a hard time just reading that first sentence aloud. Needless to say, deep contemplation on the […]

Oh, those wascally wabbits

Redheaded, moustachioed, former Oxford copper James Malcolm sent me word on some Loonatics. No, he didn’t divulge any juicy tidbits of information on any nut-job he ran into during is quarter century of law enforcement in Oxford. Jimmy’s red-faced over a Michigan J. Frog network announcement. WB, last week, presented their newest attempt at making […]

Droopy drawers and all

I’ll be the first to admit, in print for all the world to read, I think pants that hang down half-mast look sloppy. I’ll say the look looks bad. I admit when I see younger-than-I folks with their pants down, showing their undies and/or butt cheeks and/or specially placed tattoos, I cringe and think, ‘What, […]

Man charged with threatening brother at gunpoint

An Independence Township man last week allegedly threatened to kill his family, police, his enemies and even himself. During a family dispute, the suspect held two loaded weapons to back up his threats, according to Oakland County Sheriff reports, but was arrested before he harmed anyone. Kenneth Langley Abbott II, 26, was arraigned on Feb. […]

Conspiracy Theory #197

Last week a conspiracy of such diabolical magnitude was unleashed upon the world, I hesitate to delve into it. What will happen to me? Will my family’s safety be in harm’s way should I continue down the muckrakers path? What is my theory, that which has me a-shake? You may have heard about February 2’s […]

Stop stressing us out, dude.

Maybe I’m just a little thick-headed, but I just have this gut (hey, that’s thick, too!) feeling: Over zealous terrorists, hell-bent for bringing the Great Satan to its knees, ain’t gonna? do it by staging attacks on our little hamlet here in Nowheresville, USA. Call me kooky, but I don’t see it happening. Maybe I’m […]

Some things are just plain wrong

Something must be terribly wrong with me. My thermostat must be out of whack; my sense of reality askew. Like many folks this past weekend, I spent quite a lot of time out of doors, shoveling some of the foot of snow we received. I shoveled the driveway not once, not twice, but three times. […]

1 84 85 86 87 88 91