A column of quotes, misquotes & anecdotes

? More and more drivers seem to have time to put their hand on the horn, but no time to put their foot on the brake.
? Bob Warnke says: ‘What ever fluffs your sail.? I thought it was ‘whatever floats your boat.?
? I should add up the time and money ma’dog Shayna has saved me by her cleaning my plate instead of me using the dish washer.
? Read any Bounty paper towel rolls lately? Like: You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. Friends are flowers in life’s garden. No two days are the same, no two gardens the same. Gardening is a way of showing you believe in tomorrow.
? Every spring we plant two geraniums in the planter by Hazel’s tombstone. Within a week they were gone, but on the ground was a small 3-tined digger.
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For 17 months in 1947-48, I was a confined to a sanitarium in Lansing with Tuberculosis. Hazel and I started dating seriously in 1946, and each weekend starting in May 1947 she took the bus to Lansing to visit me.
A gal of Hazel’s age came from Alma each weekend to visit her husband, and Hazel and Luan Hercik became close friends.
One visit I asked Hazel to bring me a hot dog. She did that several evenings, handing them to me through a window.
Then one night Hazel handed me a live toad. I liked to have died. The two girls laughed heartily. I’d never handled a toad and never will. Hazel thought them cute playthings.
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? When our American flag is displayed as a lapel pin, it should be worn on the left lapel, near the heart.
? The U. S. flag, adopted on June 14, 1777, is the fourth oldest national flag in the world. Denmark’s flag, adopted in 1219, is the oldest.
A flag expert is called a ‘vexillologist.?
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The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Garrison Keillor, host of the radio show ‘A Prairie Home Companion,? put this one in his joke book:
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot every where, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.
Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.
(Ready?)
Therefore, he came to be known as a super calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
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When television news reporters are about to show war scenes or bad accidents, they often say, ‘Some of these pictures may be disturbing. You may want to avoid them.?
I think that all tv political news reporting between now and November should have this same warning.