When Danny was born to daughter Luan her first words to him were, ‘Hi Sweety. You’re going to Michigan State University.?
When Luan’s husband, Bob Offer came into the delivery room his first words were a question: ‘Did you tell him he’s going to MSU??
Thus the lad’s academic future was established. The first day he could get into his dorm room was Wednesday, August 20. Of course, he had to be there that day, never mind that his first class was five days away, and never mind that he was in his fifth day of mononucleosis.
Since freshmen aren’t allowed to have cars (yeah, right!) mama and papa loaded their van with must-haves and headed for East Lansing on the day their son insisted on.
In an earlier column I wrote that Dan wanted money for his birthday to buy $700 worth of surround noise. That’s a lot of woofers and tweeters or whatevers.
Naturally, Dan had to have a DVD player, Play Station, Brita water filter and a full-size refrigerator to hold all a late-teenager’s health food.
And, he had to have a loft, Futon and folding chair. I have no idea what for.
Two days later, Friday, Dan called his mother. He had forgotten a couple things, and could she bring them to him?
‘Would you bring my class schedule??
He’s been planning to go to college for over 18 years and he forgot his class schedule?
‘And, Mom, could you bring an iron and some Windex?? Ain’t never been a male student’s dorm room window cleaned, so Windex must be the current popular drink mix.
Dan’s departure left Luan and Bob with just one to go, Karen. Right now she’s as happy as a pig in manure. The day after Dan left for college her mother said she came running down the stairs, all excited, saying, ‘I just realized it. I’ve got the bathroom all to myself!?
Talk about died and gone to heaven! WOW!
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Retirees Moke and Sue Hodge decided they’d played enough golf for two weeks and went traveling in whatever direction their car was pointed. It took them to, among other places, Colorado.
But first, how can anyone get a nickname Moke out of Barton?
The Hodges brought me The Leadville Chronicle, a free newspaper that costs subscribers $1 an issue.
Here’s the lead paragraph of the lead story of the week of Aug. 7-13: ‘LEADVILLE-Sometime during the last 150 years, the marriage between Colorado and Texas got off on the wrong foot.?
Bottom line is the Coloradoans don’t like having so many Texans coming to their state to recreate, according to The Chronicle.
A bumper sticker is quoted also: ‘Welcome to Colorado, now go back to Texas.?
One resident is quoted, ‘When I was growing up in Colorado, they were clogging our ski slopes all winter and camp grounds all summer. Now I live in Texas, we have to have somewhere to go. If you lived in Texas in August, you’d want to get out of it, too.?
The Chronicle makes their Boom Days celebration out to be greatest thing all year. Here’s how editor Austin Richardson put it:
‘Boom Days is the time when the ancient bar stools get plenty of polishing and the wood on the bar get wiped down with even greater vigor.?
Damn, partner. Sign me up for ?04.