Pie a la asphalt; Help for plumber’s crevasse

It was a nice, foggy morning. Time to take Shayna for a drive. She loves to ride in our van.
Now, for those few who have told me ‘No more stories about your dog,? this is not about a dog, unless it’s me.
Ah, there’s Achatz, makers of pies and soups. Soups don’t have much of an appeal on a summer day, but pie always does.
I just happen to have a coupon that says if I buy a 10? pie I get a piece of pie free. Great time to get a cherry pie and a piece of pecan. Pecan is my favorite, but Shayna prefers cherries. Oops, sorry.
With the dog in the van, I exit the pie plant, car key in hand. This key has all sorts of buttons on the holder.
I think I hit the button opening the driver-side door, but the tail gate opens giving my untrained dog the opportunity to jump out.
I yell, ‘No, Shayna.? She stops and I reach up for the now-open door, which causes my pie-holding arm to drop, thus making the plastic container slide off the other box, open and spill the pecan piece.
I quickly, for me, bend down to push at least some of the ingredients back into the box, and the box of cherry pie falls, and, of course, opens.
So, now I have $13.95 worth of two kinds of pie laying there. I look up into the van window and (one last ‘sorry? to you anti-doggers) there’s Shayna smiling, drooling, wagging and wishing.
I’m glad I couldn’t see my own face. I’m sure I had all the expressions she didn’t.
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So, while sitting around after golf, trying to forget our games, the discussion turned to how disgusting, sexy, immodest, entertaining, etc. low slung pants are. No mention was made of boys’ dragging bottoms.
The spot just above the beginning of these rear fissures has become a popular place for tattoos of roses, names and stuffed animals.
Comedian Tim Allen helped make himself famous by daring to call this area ‘Plumber’s Crack.?
Well, one of my friends said he pointed out this non-filled crease to his teenage daughter, and she shot back, ‘My pants are, like, a lot higher than, like, a lot of my friends.?
‘Same way with my daughter,? another piped in. ‘She’s always pulling down her shirt in back or pulling up the back of her pants, always saying ‘my crack doesn’t show.??
A third guy offered to give everyone the name of a doctor who could eliminate, or at least discourage ogling.
‘Who’s that?? more than one asked.
‘Dr. Phil!?
‘Not that guy who says he’s Dr. Phil on television??
‘No, no. This Dr. Phil is Dr. Phil McCrackin!?
We adjourned the meeting.
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Around our state and nation do-gooders often urge voters to take property off tax rolls and create more ‘open space.?
Reasons vary from ‘we’re here, lock the door,? to beliefs that having more parks is the only way to have a place for kids to play (nothing is too good for our children) to ‘I love to see acres of nothing.?
There are several thousand acres of non-taxed county, state and local ‘open spaces? in our four adjacent townships.
When the resolution passes, tax bills arrive on the 10th of December and we scream about getting higher bills.
Hm-m-m. Maybe private industry that is required to have ‘open space? would have been a better plan.