Primary elections put a lot of money into circulation, such as in newspaper ads, but they sure mess up the landscape. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but never have I seen so many ‘elect? and ‘re-elect? signs on lawns, dead-end roads and intersections as this year.
My occasional friend John Patrell asked Bill Patterson, who is seeking to return to a county commissioner post, why his signs read ‘reject? Bill Patterson. Bill said, ‘No, John, that’s re-elect. Reject is what you can expect in afterlife from either place.?
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Here’s some fads I think have been here way too long, and some things I’d like to see recur.
I think it’s time males turned their baseball hats around with the bill in front. Bring back the fedora, the brimmed hat with a positive image.
T-shirts with logos and collarless shirts that have become acceptable with sports coats have had their run. They are not formal. Since I have over 250 neckties I’d like to not stand out at an affair by being the only one with a pressed dress shirt and color-coordinated tie, so bring them back Mr. Blackwell.
Only a filmdom-type would think a 2-day growth of beard makes a man more appealing to the ladies. Let’s see clean-shaven or beard-wearing leading men on magazine covers in 2005.
I haven’t made up my mind about tattoos. For the most part they are private, covered works of art, love, macho, gang, military, family and slogan images. I’ve seen some I liked, and of course, vice versa.
It’s time to put rings back on fingers and off toes and thumbs, out of tongues, nipples, eyebrows, belly buttons and ear tops. At least one of those places applies to my second favorite grandson. Dan can’t compete with his 4-year-old cousin.
I’d like the word ‘enhancement? removed from all public advertisements unless they are referring to landscaping, auto accessories or coloring. It’s time to return to prudish, sensitive and non-blush producing descriptions.
Girls, quit showing what wasn’t meant to be shown by ‘good girls,? and boys, pull your pants up and quit dragging the bottom six inches of the pant legs on the sidewalks.
While you’re at it, start wearing pants with seams, like neatly pressed, clean gabardines. Dress like you’re proud to be who you want us to believe you are.
While you’re at it (2), ladies and gents, toss those sandals, which were meant for beach wear only, and those scuffies out and order some wing tips and heels that take a shine, not a winch.
I’m almost done. Teenagers, omit the word ‘like? from your vocabulary. It will save hundreds of minutes on your cell phone each day. And, start rejecting music your parents can’t understand.
Finally, parents, get back to home cooking.
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I started this column writing about politics and I’m going to end it with the same theme.
During the Democrats’convention I asked a friend if he was watching it. He said, ‘Really, I don’t feel good about voting for either Kerry or Bush.?
And so it is with me. This November, like way too many elections, we’ll go to the polls to vote against someone, not for someone. Candidates get nominations because they were able to raise the most money fastest for campaigning. Delegates and the majority of voters don’t get to express their choice.
While I like Bush’s tax cuts, I can’t believe there wasn’t a less-killing way to make changes in Iraq.
As for flip-flopping Kerry, well, he’s just another overpromising politician.
A choice probably won’t be more clear for me come November.