A few weeks ago, I threw my back out putting my shoes on, which I think qualifies me as an old person.
Now, I am 27 years old. I know that, technically, I’m still young. But someone needs to tell that to my body.
I originally injured my back when I still worked retail. I was a manager at a pet store, so I did a little bit of everything, and I was lifting a 33 pound bag of dog food up over my head when I felt something pull in my back.
That was probably six years ago, and now I throw my back out once or twice a year doing something mundane, like getting off of the couch or putting my shoes on. It hurts for a few days, and then it goes back to normal. It’s one of many things that I feel qualifies me for an AARP membership.
The other thing is my hip. Anyone who works with me knows that I have a hip brace that I have to wear sometimes. 11 years of dance classes when I was younger took its toll on my growing body, and now, my hip will over time rotate out of place and I have to wear a brace for a few days to rotate it back.
And recently, in the last year or so, I’ve noticed my pinkie and ring finger on my left hand going tingly when my elbow is pressed against a surface. Turns out, it’s a compressed ulnar nerve, which I didn’t know existed. So I got a brace to wear that keeps my arm straight when I sleep when that starts happening, and I can’t rest my head in my hand or use our Nintendo Switch handheld while laying down because that was the primary cause of it.
Now you may think a few injuries are routine, but I think I’ve just been old since I was little. My chosen hobbies were sewing, crocheting, reading, and baking, most of which I learned from my grandmothers. These hobbies can be enjoyed by anyone, but when combined with me not wanting to leave the house after 7 p.m. and my general aches, it’s hard to feel like a 20-something.
Our friends come over and see the three boxes of Cheerios in our pantry and tell my husband and I we buy ‘old people cereal’.
I would say they’re wrong, but that’s the cereal my grandpa bought too. He used to eat them for breakfast, but he also used to leave a pile on the floor for his dog, who hated Cheerios. But he’s a column for another time.
I’m not worried about aging because how much older can I feel? I already feel like an old lady.
And I love that about myself. I like my ‘old lady’ hobbies and habits. I just wish my body wasn’t falling apart.