Granddaughter Karen qualified for the Michigan High School Athletic Association Ski Tournament, which was Monday, Feb. 28. She skis with the Brandon-Oxford ski team
She reminded me I hadn’t seen her ski in any of the tournaments this year, so I got the hint and went to this one. It wasn’t a hint, it was a snide question, like, ‘Why haven’t you come to any of my tourneys this year, Grandpa??
She’s about as diplomatic as a tsunami.
Boyne Mountain hosted the event that brought about 65 high school boys and the same number of girls out to compete in freezing temperatures in skintight, spiderweb designed Spandex clothes.
Since the teenage girls weigh about 98 pounds I had to wonder why none seemed to be shivering.
The competition is four slalom courses that take an average of 32 seconds to cover. That’s four runs that take just over two minutes.
For that parents and well-wishers stand behind a fence, at the bottom of the hill, in darn cold conditions from about 8:30 a.m to 3:30 p.m. That’s parental love at its greatest.
It’s another case of parents doing all they can for their children hoping the children remember their parents when they are old.
For Karen the goal was to get to the end of the run without falling, which many did. Being in the ‘individual? category as opposed to a team, she had no particular trophy to compete for. Just qualifying for the state meet was a victory.
The good news for me was that I didn’t have to ride to or from Boyne Country with her. I couldn’t take more of the teenage talk. I heard the word ‘like? so often I started using it, thinking it was proper sentence structure.
‘Ya know, like, I mean, like, why don’t you, like, listen to me?? ‘Ya, know, Grandpa, like, my jeans are, like, higher than, like, most of the girls in my class. Like, don’t make, like, fun of me.?
Good Lord, what are we raising?
As I saw all these cute, young girls chatting, I noticed they pay no attention to the handsome young male skiers, and vice versa. Why? I don’t know. Seems they should attract each other.
I also wondered at the cost of their outfits. Helmets are about $90, skis (and they need two pair) $1,000 each, suits, $200, ski poles, $100, Boots $500 and shin guards $85.
Since Karen has a brother skier, double that outfit cost for their parents.
So, again I wondered, why don’t the parents put them in golf?
Of course, they have. Being members of the great American affluent society, their kids are not shorted in golf, either.
My friendly golf shop manager Tim Kalohn at Oxford Hills Golf and Country Club filled me in on golf costs.
A new driver, these are ‘about? costs, $450, 3-wood, $250, set of irons, $300, bag, $150, shoes, $150, gloves $20, shirts, pants, caps any amount you want to add here.
Golf fees and ski tickets are close to equal. Ski tickets are $60 for two days and $30-a-day golf prices are not infrequent.
And, again I wonder, why do Karen and Dan Offer’s parents spend so much money on these two activities for their kids?
Of course, you know the answer.
It’s because the parents partake in the same two activities.
Trust me, outfitting them costs just as much.