?04 Farmers? Almanac says weather’s coming!

I may be a little late bringing you The Old Farmers? Almanac weather predictions for the rest of this year and 2004. Their complimentary magazine just arrived this week.
But, here’s the summary for their Region 9, Chicago and Southern Great Lakes: Winter will be cold, with temperatures three degrees below normal, on average.
Temperatures will be very cold much of the time from late November through January, with coldest periods in early December, from Christmas to New Year, and again late January.
February and March will have temperatures above normal. Snowfall will be normal, with the heaviest snowfalls in late November, early and late December and mid-January.
April and May will be warmer than usual and summer will be hotter than usual. Rainfall will be close to normal. September and October will be wet.
Now, for you who think Florida is so much better than Michigan: winter will be wet, it’ll be cold in early and late December and early January. Mid-Florida could have a freeze in mid-January.
Of course, The Almanac is more than a weather predictor. Their ‘What Will They Think of Next? tells of featherless chickens, bison being the next red meat, heatless Jalapeno peppers and tearless onions.
The ‘Fun Factor? says nudist tourism is at an all-time high. (I don’t know why that item is in this category.) Needlepoint is on the rise, turkey hunting is up, as is bargain hunting at flea markets and more seniors going into sports.
There’s a story on the 100th anniversary of the ice cream cone, which I may get to in a future column, and a story entitled, ‘Creatures that live on blood.?
Facts and fallacies about three bloodsuckers that love to get under our skin, is the subhead.
‘There is nothing more horrid than a creature so rude that it would suck the very blood from our veins. Vampire bats, mosquitoes and ticks — these are bloodthirsty monsters of our nightmares, our horror movies and our picnics gone awry. If we are to overcome our fears of these miniature menaces, we must know the facts about them,? The Almanac says.
Blame the fear on Dracula, but do not fear vampire bats. They live only in Central and South America, and there are only three species of them. That’s comforting for you South American travelers.
If you’re squeamish, don’t read on, but for you curious — ‘With super-sharp teeth, they slice a piece of skin from their sleeping victims, then use their well-grooved tongues to lap up half their body weight in blood — about two tablespoons for these tiny, one-ounce bats.?
There are over a trillion mosquitos of more than 2,500 species. I know, you think you have that many in your yard.
The female mosquito seeks blood every 3 or 4 days, preferring to dine on wrists and ankles where blood vessels are near to the skin’s surface. The pumps in her head and thorax draw out about one millionth of a gallon of blood, then she spits an anticoagulant under our skin to remember her by.
‘The tick hacks away at you with her cheliceral digits (cutting tools) and her backward-pointing teeth will lock her head in place, making it particularly difficult for you to disengage your visitor’s swelling enthusiasm.?
The Almanac was not very kind to the tick, calling it a ‘dreadful, head-burrowing bloodsucker.?
Ah, a term for some people I know.