By Jim Sherman, Sr.
The same day the news media was filled with snowfall warnings, our government issued warnings on “changes we should make right now!”
I guarantee the snow warnings were heeded quicker and with more action than the “changes.”
We were promised a foot of snow in one breath, and a promise of a shorter life if we didn’t restrict our diet to a half a teaspoon of salt. (NOW!)
Our gov’ment reissues guidelines for eating every five years. We gotta practically give up salt, cut out fats, eat more fruits and vegetables and (get this) “enjoy food, but make changes.”
You start by assembling foods, starches and veggies around the outer edge of your plate, then, if you have room in the middle, put your unsalted meat.
Uncle Sam, or is it Aunt Millie, says Americans of all ages are too fat.
I say we have to have fat to get the most out life. Happiness needs fatty, salt seasoned foods. Now, you don’t have to gorge yourself. But, gol darn a person can’t be happy and enjoying themselves on bland foods.
These government representatives gotta understand there has to be a balance, and the message should come from spokespersons who have flesh. Don’t put these messengers out who can’t cast a decent shadow, have no cheeks and weigh 67 pounds.
I’m not suggesting the heavily obese be given the microphone, but let them represent achievable, likeable goals.
When I hug someone I want to know I’m not just reaching around to my own shoulders.
About five years ago, my doctor suggested, and did not persist, that I try replacing the salt shaker with the pepper shaker. In many cases I have done that, and my doctor hasn’t broached the subject again.
But, then, I’m not overweight. I’m at a healthy weight, and no one who hugs me can touch their hands at my back.
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I started walking to one-room schools in 1932. Our firstborn started walking a mile to school in 1959.
Neither my mother, nor his mother gave snowy weather a second thought.
Schooling was important. Today, well there’s a lot of talking about schoolin’ but the weather reporters seem almost anti-education.
The airways were filled with storm warnings starting five days in advance. They couldn’t say blizzard, measurements, windchill, gusting winds and icy conditions often enough.
It’s like they were earning commissions from the hardwares, supermarkets, drug and clothing stores.
Reports came in of people clogging aisles buying shovels, salt (for melting not eating), aspirin, pain relievers for shovelers, beer (I don’t what that was for) and groceries for the rest of the winter.
We were also kept aware of the cooler than normal temperatures in the south. I especially like those low numbers.
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• Ah well, as Will Rogers often said, everyone talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
• Will Rogers also said our Constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
• When pizza became popular in the U.S. in the 1930s, sales of oregano shot up 5,200 percent. (With all that sauce and cheese who can taste oregano?)
• When you’re looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. When you look at someone you hate, they do the same thing.