When Oxford resident Keith Snider talks about his late son and what happened to him, the expected mixture of love, anguish and regret is there in the tone of his voice.
But there’s also determination. He’s clearly determined to make sure no one else’s child loses their life to heroin like his 22-year-old son Ely Darryn Snider did on March 6.
‘We need people to reach out or we’re going to lose these children in Oxford,? Snider said. ‘We need to get the word out. Not too many people know what’s going on.?
To that end, Snider, along with some other parents, plans to attend the April 13 Oxford Village Council meeting and the April 14 Oxford Township Board meeting to see what can be done about what he perceives as the area’s heroin problem (see story below).
‘This epidemic of heroin is scaring me and it’s scaring everyone else, too,? he said. ‘We need to sit down as soon as possible and figure out what we can do. We don’t know exactly what, but there’s got to be something we can do. There’s children needing help today.?
He wants to get everyone involved in the fight ? parents, kids, churches, schools, local governments.
Whatever plan of attack is formulated, Snider knows communication and openness will be the keys to fighting what he called ‘the devil’s drug.?
‘I know parents (of users) are scared, they’re embarrassed, they’re ashamed,? he said. ‘Let’s push that aside and let’s get to helping, understanding and taking action.?
Snider knows all too well this isn’t something parents can just quietly handle on their own. He tried, but unfortunately his son could not be saved from heroin.
‘We wanted to deal with it ourselves. We were embarrassed,? he said. ‘It doesn’t work.?
When Ely Darryn Snider, who lived in Oxford with his father, was found March 2 in the parking lot of a Wendy’s in Detroit, he had overdosed on heroin. He was unconscious and his heart wasn’t beating.
Paramedics managed get his heart started again, but unfortunately his brain had been deprived of oxygen for too long. Four days later, he was declared brain-dead and taken off life support at the hospital.
But that’s not how his father wants him to be remembered because that’s not the total sum of who Ely was in life.
‘He was a very loving young man that got caught up with a very nasty drug,? Snider said. ‘He had such a big heart. Two hundred people showed up to his funeral and only 30 of them were my relatives and his relatives. That’s how many friends he had that loved him.?
Ely attended Oxford Schools through the 11th grade. He later received his General Education Development Certification through Lake Orion Schools.
Snider hopes his son’s death can serve as a wake-up call for other parents and the community.
Ely started using heroin about a year-and-a-half ago.
Snider noticed something was wrong because his son wasn’t as quick mentally. He talked slower, he always seemed tired, his eyes were droopy, his speech was slurred.
But there were also times when Ely wasn’t able to sit still, when he was skaky or constantly pacing.
And he had no appetite for regular food, only sweets, especially late at night.
‘All the cupcakes and goodies would be gone in the morning when I woke up,? Snider said. ‘That drug makes you crave sugary things.?
When Snider confronted his son about his drug use, Ely denied it over and over again. But when his father finally made him remove his shirt, the evidence was there.
‘I saw all the track marks and I said, ‘Dear God, you’re using? and he goes ‘Yeah.? It was a nightmare.?
Ely admitted he’d been using for about two months. He wore a lot of long sleeve shirts and hooded sweatshirts to cover his arms and hide his addiction.
‘That’s the whole thing with these users ? they lie to you and you don’t really know. That’s why everyday is a fight,? Snider said.
A few days after the confrontation, in the winter of 2009, Snider got his son into a drug rehab facility and there he stayed for 27 days. Snider believes his son should have been there for three or four months, but 27 days is all his insurance would pay for.
When Ely returned to his father’s home, he was administered a strong dose of ‘tough love? and strictly monitored day and night. He was only allowed to wear short sleeve shirts and even his trips to the bathroom were watched and timed.
‘This drug follows you for the rest of your life,? Snider said. ‘You can’t just close the door a month later and say we did our job.?
‘Once someone starts using, it’s hard to get out,? he continued. ‘And once they do get away from it, it stays with them the rest of their life. The want for it is always there.?
He actually took his son’s bedroom and closet doors away.
‘You don’t want a door on the bedroom of a kid that’s been shooting up because when the door’s closed, the needle comes out,? Snider said.
In the months following Ely’s stay in rehab, his life seemed to be back on track.
‘Everything was going beautifully,? Snider said. ‘He was doing great. I kept telling him how proud I was. He was trying so hard to become a man and get out of this.?
Following rehab, Ely tried to find work, but Snider said people ‘looked at him differently.? Employers would hear rumors about him and pass him over.
‘It was very hard for him to get a job,? he said.
Unfortunately, about three weeks before Ely died, Snider found a needle and a spoon in his son’s glove compartment.
He speculated his son had been using again for probably two or three months before he died.
Snider believes the main reason his son fell back into his old ways was because so many of his friends were using heroin and it’s so prevalent in the community.
‘It’s hard to stay away from it when everybody’s using it,? he said. ‘It’s just so easy for someone to get right back into it.?
One of Ely’s friends told Snider at the funeral that the only way he was able to stop using and stay clean for the last year was by getting away from here and ignoring everybody.
With Ely gone, Snider is channeling all his energy into bringing what he perceives as Oxford’s heroin problem out into the open and finding ways to combat it before it’s too late.
‘There’s still kids running around out there with that demon inside them,? he said. ‘We need to get these children off and away from this drug. If we don’t, we’re going to lose not just this generation, but the next generation, too. When is it going to stop??