Every so often I ask daughter Susan for a Trevor fix. He and his twin sister, Haley, 3 and a half, keep their parents alert and sometimes entertained.
It was 4 a.m. when Susan heard Trevor call for her. She went in and asked, ‘What is it, Trevor??
He said, ‘I love you, Mommy!?
‘That’s nice, Trevor? Susan said, ‘Now go back to sleep.?
On another morning Trevor told his mother, ‘My privates hurt.?
Susan asked, ‘Ok, Trevor, where are your privates??
‘On my back,? he said.
Susan concluded she didn’t have to worry about that for a while.
I feel guilty about not having Haley stories, but she goes along playing quietly, smiling all the time.
– – – 0 – – –
Jottings reader Dotty thought, correctly, I’d get a smile out of these from her parish news letter:
? A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall and quoted, ‘Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.?
? I had been teaching my 3-year-old daughter, Caitlin, The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: ‘Lead not into temptation,? she prayed, ‘but deliver us some E-mail. Amen.?
? A 10-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, ‘Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin??
– – – 0 – – –
Peddlers of golf equipment have been displaying and selling copper bracelets, belts and doodads to players who will buy anything to help their game and ease pain.
I have it right from The Dictionary of Misinformation that ‘there is no scientific evidence that copper or any such metal worn on the wrists or ankles has an effect on arthritis.?
As for my friend Larry, who is trying copper for his ailing back, the Dictionary leaves hope through omission. The back isn’t mentioned and arthritis is the only ailment mentioned.
– – – 0 – – –
The first six months Hazel and I were married, she worked a full-time job and I went to college. I, having considerably more freedom, did the washing, ironing and some cooking, especially scalloped potatoes with pork chops.
For the past several years I gave my shirt ironing to the laundry. Except for dress (funeral/wedding) shirts, I’ve come to believe all other shirts are ‘machine wash, tumble dry, hang up and wear.?
Then I bought two and didn’t read the label. They needed ironing. And, I found ironing is like the proverbial bicycle riding story – you never forget.
However, those two shirts will be laundered professionally from now on. I said you never forget how to iron shirts, not that it wasn’t work. It’s backbreaking.