Hurt people hurt people.
I heard it first from one of my favorite yoga teachers. People who come from a background of abuse perpetuate the cycle. They don’t mean to, don’t want to, it’s just what they know.
I’ve written about the family brawls and skirmishes I find in the police reports before, but it’s time to get serious. It’s time for the parents, teachers, police and other leaders in this community to step up and do something about the never-ending cycle of the battered and the batterers, the abused and the abusers. I often hear talk about what a great community this is’and I agree’but I also see some among us falling through the cracks.
Especially our children.
Every week I read at least a couple of police reports about a child who was present while mom and dad were kicking, shoving, and spewing hateful words at one another.
I read about a guy who drunkenly followed on his wife’s heels when she returned from work (one wonders what he did all day) then poked at her when she got on the phone. Just for good measure, I suppose, he tossed a plate of cookies she’d baked onto the floor. Nice. Merry Christmas.
Then there was a drunken super-dad, a man much too responsible to drive while he’s sloshed, officer, but not quite responsible enough to realize that putting your 17-year-old daughter behind the wheel and directing her to shuttle you around town in search of her mother and your soon-to-be ex wife, who wants to see you about as much as she wants to get hit by a bus, is probably not going to win you any father-of-the year awards.
I find reports about men beating up on women, and women beating up on men, kids and parents screaming at one another; kids running away from home.
And then, surprise, I read about kids who smacked, threatened or threw something at a parent in an all- out temper tantrum of some sort.
Children who watch the adults in their lives hurt one another, children who are allowed to abuse their parents are not the kind of young adults we want to unleash on the community in the coming years.
Of course, kids are charged with assault like anyone else, and deputies can point parents in the direction of help.
But that’s not enough.
The Clarkston area Youth Assistance program is doing an amazing job with the kids they help.
But it’s not enough.
Plenty of other community resources exist, but until people are getting the help they need and making the changes they need to make, none of it is enough.
It’s time to force change at the root of the problem ? within the family system. Schools and community groups need to step up and offer more help and guidance to struggling parents, and those who will become parents.
Whether it’s classes, literature, speakers, workshops, or a PR campaign, we need to do more. Now.
Yeah, there’s red tape. Yeah, these things cost money.
But you know what? Our children are worth it. Whatever it takes.