September — The pigskins are about to fly. Makes me recall one of our cheers: ‘Hit ’em high, hit ’em low, come on team, let’s go!?
And, ‘Rah, rah ree, hit ’em in the knee.
‘Rah, rah rass, hit ’em in the . . . other knee.?
Just as our world is full of borderline phrases, it has its share of cynical statements. Like the one that came to me this week.
Why try to draft a new constitution for Iraq. Give them ours. We’re not using it any more.
And, ‘The real reason we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Congress is this . . ‘You cannot post, ‘Thou shall not steal, Thou shall not commit adultery and Thou shall not lie? in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.?
– – – 0 – – –
For years, publishers of the Farmer’s Almanac sent me an edition in September. When they quit sending it a few years go, I stubbornly refused to buy one from a newsstand.
This week I weakened. Paid $5.95. The Almanac used to be a half-inch thick. Now it’s folded and stapled. It used to have quotes in each month. Now, the month type is small, and has such notable dates as Chief Red Cloud’s date of death (1909) and Boxing Day in Canada.
The weather is still being predicted by zones. We are in zone 6. In January, 2010, temperatures will be slightly above normal, February slightly below normal, March near normal, April slightly above normal, May slightly below normal, etc.
There’s a story about Galileo Galilei-Messenger and Martyr, and the plight of the bumblebee.
I will not be buying the 2011 Farmer’s Almanac.
– – – 0 – – –
Ads not aimed at me: I don’t gotta have a telephone service that gives me free calling to Europe, like Vonage does. Or, whatever it is I can get by calling 66BINDER, a Social Security advocate, they say. Or, any of the products that are promoted by, ‘We will tell you what others won’t tell you.? Even if it’s gold, as one ad shouts.
– – – 0 – – –
Isn’t it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years earlier — right to the stall where she slept — in the state of Washington!
But our government is unable to locate 50 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each alien a cow.
– – – 0 – – –
Three quotes to remember:
‘When I die I want to die like my grandfather — who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.? — author unknown
‘You can say foolish things to a dog, and the dog will give your a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would have thought of that!?? — Dave Barry
‘If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.? — Johnny Carson
– – – 0 – – –
If you read Jottings last week you might remember my writing about Pastor Bob Holt getting a hole-in-one at Oxford Hills Golf and Country Club. He hit a 7 wood into the cup on Number 5, a 198-yard drive.
Why am I writing about it again? At the next hole Bob hit that same ball into a creek. A very muddy creek. Not wide, just mucky.
Then it dawned on him he should have saved that precious Titleist ProV1 with 3 personalized dots. So he returned to the creek with his boots and rubber gloves.
In a couple hours, and not very many feet of creek, the minister of Christ the King Church in Oxford found 338 golf balls, including his trophy Titleist.