Outdoorsmen like to tell their ‘roughing it? tales

Getting a haircut recently I overheard some of Gayle Schlicht’s deer hunting plans. They have a cabin w-a-a-y up north. It sounded like one huge room that sleeps 16 with a wood burning stove in the middle.
They’ll cut next year’s firewood this season, as they’ve done for years. Of the 14 scheduled this season one, Jerry Trimble, will do the cooking. He’ll probably be too tired to hunt, which may not be that group’s goal in the first place. But they’ll do it for ten days, including the three days it takes to ‘make? camp.
It reminded me of Da Yupper’s hit song that goes, ‘It’s the second week of deer camp, and all the boys are here. We drink, play cards and never shoot no deer.?
Contrast that picture with some of the ‘roughing it? stories passed on to me. A lawyer friend, Bob Parenti, came back from a duck hunting trip one year complaining of the living conditions.? We had to bath in hard water,? he said.
My longtime hunting, fishing, golfing friend Francis ‘Pansy? Baldwin used to ‘rough it? by staying in a hotel during deer season, while his hunting buddies stayed out in the woods in a tent with trout stream water, hay mattresses and kerosene lighting.
Pansy would go into camp in the morning clean shaven, bathed, shaved and cologned only to be greeted with snide remarks and body odor. He always looked good for the passing bucks.
I have another deer hunting friend, Nick, who, after he shoots a deer from his blind, has someone come and pick it up with a front-end loader.
It’s not much different for the fly-in weeks in Canada. The ideal fishing times, early morning and evenings, are ignored in favor of an extra hours sleep and evening imbibements, excuse me, fellowship.
The major concern is not how we get more than the allowable fish across the border, but if we catch enough for one meal and did we bring enough beer. (Sorry, folks, but that’s often the way it is.)
Our ‘roughing it? deer camp is a condominium.
Fireplace, Beautyrest mattresses, electric dishwasher, microwaves, ping-pong table, tvs, dvds, videos, unlimited hot water, recliners, rockers and an outdoor grill. I sincerely hope the only ‘roughing it? I experience this year is not having a George Foreman grill.
There will be about 10 in our ‘camp? this season. Some will be first time lads, who we will try to make us blush by using language reserved for deer-camp, that we soon learn they’ve been using the last five years.
After as very hearty dinner, about 8 p.m., we’ll all sit in front of the fireplace, repeat all the old stories and fall asleep. After the season starts the stories will be short: How many did you see today? None! I think I saw a movement! One guy always sees a dozen and is, of course, called an outright liar. (That’s deer camp language, for ‘perhaps you miscounted.?)
My recent best ‘roughing it? deer camp story happened last season. I had long since gone to bed before the young ‘uns, but the next day I was told my son Jim’s request to the early hunters, which he and I aren’t.
‘When you go out in the morning would you start our car and turn on the seat warmers.?