Santa Claus speaks to The Citizen

Santa Claus recently visited the office of The Citizen, fresh off an appearance at Christmas in the Village, where he rode in the parade and had dozens of children sit on his lap at the Brandon Fire Hall and tell him what they would like for Christmas. The big guy in the red suit took time out of his busy schedule to grant The Citizen a rare interview and answer some pressing questions.
The Citizen: What have been the most requested toys this year?
Santa Claus: Dora the Explorer toys, drums, guitars, Barbies, Bratz dolls, video games.
The Citizen: How do you get down chimneys and how do you get into homes without chimneys?
Santa Claus: Magic dust and magic keys. I can get in any house.
The Citizen: Is Mrs. Claus a good cook?
Santa Claus: Yes. You can tell by my shape. She keeps me a right jolly old elf.
The Citizen: What are your favorite kind of cookies?
Santa Claus: I like sugar cookies, chocolate chip, a wide assortment. It’s especially nice when children leave apples and carrots for the reindeer to keep their energy up.
The Citizen: What do children have to do to make the ‘nice? list?
Santa Claus: They have to be good and do what their moms and dads tell them to do.
The Citizen: How naughty is naughty?
Santa Claus: It depends on who it is.
The Citizen: What is your favorite Christmas song?
Santa Claus: ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town.?
The Citizen: How cold is it at the North Pole?
Santa Claus: As cold as it is here.
The Citizen: How do you manage to deliver presents to children all over the world in one night?
Santa Claus: Magic dust. I also got a new sled this year that is supposed to go faster.
The Citizen: Will Detroit get a new professional football team for Christmas this year?
Santa Claus: They better get better or Santa’s not coming to see them.
The Citizen: What does Santa want for Christmas?
Santa Claus: Peace on Earth, goodwill to all.