I’m going to prove there are things to learn you didn’t even think you needed to learn.
It was taught to me by a early-20s gal on a very slow night at a restaurant. She had stood at our table long enough to hear some of our conversation, which prompted her to tell an experience.
Seems she had been to a major outdoor event last summer, an event that caused the import of many portable toilets, that had been placed in a confined area. So confined that they touched each other.
When the need arose for, I’ll call her Nadine, she carried her cup of beer into the totally inadequately sized plastic stall, only to find there are no shelves to sit said cup on.
Needing both hands to proceed, Nadine put the cup of beer on the toilet paper holder. About the time she got seated a neighboring goer left their portable and slammed its door so hard it rattled Nadine’s toilet, causing the beer to fall.
Well, it fell into both pairs of her pants causing gasps, panic and outrage. What to do? Her decision was to wring out her wear, put on her determined, straight ahead stare and march hurriedly past the bewildered, yet smiling, sympathetic and staring line-up awaiting her exit.
Nadine, ‘It’s really funny, now.?
The lesson? Carry a bumper dumper.
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Several weeks ago I wrote of Dr. Benedicto Cortez calling me from the endoscopy room (emphasis on the END) for a procedure. Well, a few weeks ago the same Dr. Cortez called me from the same room for another scope . . . don’t try to pronounce this . . . Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. He looked down my throat.
Anyway, I was to call him back in a week or so to find the results, which I did. He said everything was fine and to keep doing what I was doing until he saw me in three weeks.
I’m one who follows doctors? orders to the nth degree. But, I may not be able to do it this time. When he said keep doing was I was doing I was scratching my myself.
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For Christmas, 2003, daughter Susan enrolled me in the Bacon of the Month Club. Great gift for a toasted, bacon and tomato sandwich lover.
For Christmas, 2004, daughter Luan faked a membership for me in the Michigan Bacon of the Month Club. It came with three pounds of Oscar Mayer bacon.
The welcoming cover letter says, ‘We feature only the finest Bacon Products that can be found in any old common grocery store in Michigan. Each month you will receive anywhere from one to two pounds of high grade bacon along with its story and location of where to purchase.
‘You should know that each of our Special Bacon Packages have been scrutinized not only by our special purchasing agents, but also by the finest buyers the grocery stores, like Farmer Jack, Meijers and IGA can offer.?
Luan added, ‘Your new Bacon of the Month Club is the only one with a true Michigan feel.?
Oscar Mayer bacon comes from Madison, Wisconsin. Oops!
Besides the bacon Luan gave me a rather large piggy bank. Pink, of course. Each time a coin is dropped into the bank the pig oinks and snorts.
During the Christmas season there were 27 guests in my house. Not a one of them dropped a coin in my bank which had a prominent place enroute to the dining table. They all listened as I dropped coins for hints.
Next year my guest lists will be much smaller.