Last week, during one of my weekly phone calls with one of my best friends, she listed off to me the issues she’s been having with her five-year-old since she had another baby, all of them normal, new-sibling behavior. And, like the best friend I am, I listened and offered her advice to the best of my ability. I love her and her sons, I’m always happy to be her sounding board.
Now, I don’t have kids myself, but that has never stopped friends from reaching out for advice or help. Even when I was a kid myself, I had a friend who would call me when she was baby-sitting her sister, and said sister wouldn’t listen to her and she didn’t know how to handle it.
That sounds odd, since I have no children and no siblings, but I spent a surprising amount of time with kids and a lot of time watching “Supernanny.” I don’t know if my advice back then was good, but it worked for that friend.
Since then, I’ve done work for parenting magazines and a lot of volunteer work with youth, and my friends and family with children know that, especially the parents of my nephews and niece. I know a lot about the brain development of children, why kids do what they do, and how to talk to them in a way that they understand and respond to.
Does it always work? No. Last weekend I told my 18-month-old nephew he couldn’t throw a ball at me when I wasn’t looking, and he flopped face down on the kitchen floor pretending to cry. His mom and I rolled our eyes at each other and continued what we were doing. Eventually he got distracted because he wanted to pet their cat and all was forgotten until the next time he got upset because he was told he couldn’t have a cookie, and the cycle repeated.
But the point I’m making is that every parent, at some point, needs help. It’s a very big job for just one or two people to handle. And since I don’t know everything, I like having other tricks up my sleeve to offer, such as books or other resources for them to look into for their specific problem, especially if I don’t have a clue on how to help.
Locally, I’ve talked to Ortonville Resident Linda Brooks. She is a facilitator for a program called Love and Logic, which is a research-driven, whole-child philosophy for parenting, founded in 1977. I’ve had the joy of sitting in on one of her sessions, and just from that one session I took away tools I use on the kiddos in my life.
Brooks has been facilitating the program since 2012, and at 6:30-7:45 p.m., on March 10, she is hosting a free, one-session workshop at the Brandon Township Public Library, 304 South St., Ortonville. The program is also sponsored by Brandon Groveland Youth Assistance.
“I had what I would call a God moment while wondering what I could do to help young families at my church,” said Brooks. “I remembered when I discovered Love and Logic while struggling with my youngest child, so I looked into what I would need to do to bring Love and Logic to young families in Ortonville.”
According to Brooks, Love and Logic teaches people how to parent with calmness and empathy, instead of anger and frustration.
“Love and Logic empowers kids by teaching parents how to offer choices within limits, allow mistakes when kids are young, and teach kids how to own and solve their own problems,” she said. “Starting when children are young will help them make better choices in their teenage years, because they will have plenty of practice making mistakes and learning from them.”
In the one-night session, Brooks will cover the basic principals of weekly sessions, introduce concepts and how parenting can be more fun when using the tools of Love and Logic. She will also provide handouts that parents can keep and refer to as they experiment with different techniques.
“We have had great responses from those who have attended the sessions,” she said. “It helps parents build better relationships with their children. It gives parents tools they can implement to help them be in control in a calm, impactful way.”
Child care is provided for children ages three and up for free at the library. Register online at brandonlibrary.org or call 248-627-1460.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, and luckily, there are plenty of people willing to lend a helping hand. Even if the one-night session doesn’t work for you, Brooks offers a multi-night session virtually in the fall that goes more in-depth. But, if any of this sounds like it could benefit you, check out the one-night workshop on March 10.