For Gordy Dibler, Jr., more than a year of waiting and wondering if his former stepson U.S. Army PFC Byron Fouty is alive ended last week.
Unfortunately, so did his hope for a happy family reunion like you see in the movies.
Military officials came to Dibler’s Oxford home on Keith St. Thursday afternoon to inform him that Fouty’s remains were found in an Iraqi town known as Jurf as-Sakhr, which is 40 miles south of Baghdad and west of the Euphrates River.
‘When they showed up at the door dressed in uniform, it was pretty obvious it wasn’t good news,? he said, noting the distance between his side door and the family room where he learned Fouty’s fate was the ‘longest walk? of his life.
‘It was like an eternity,? Dibler noted.
Fouty, 19, was found along with the remains of Sgt. Alex R. Jimenez, of Massachusetts.
‘They were found together, but they didn’t say in what proximity,? Dibler said. ‘We don’t know those kind of details.?
Dental records were used to identify the skeletal remains of both soldiers. Some personal effects were also found.
Information obtained from a prisoner, the type which the military calls a ‘high value informant,? helped U.S. Forces locate the missing soldiers.
After a more than a year of not knowing whether Fouty, who spent a good portion of his formative years in Oxford and Orion, was alive or dead following an enemy attack, Dibler said finally learning the truth didn’t make him feel any better.
‘There’s no relief in it,? he said. ‘It’s just deeply sad.?
The soldiers? remains were flown to a military facility in Dover, Delware where they’re undergoing an autopsy to determine how and when they died.
Fouty and Jimenez ? members of Company D, 4th Battalion, 31st Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade of the 10th Mountain Division out of Fort Drum, New York ? were kidnapped May 12, 2007 following an ambush by insurgents in Al Taqa, a city south of Baghdad in an area known as the ‘Triangle of Death.?
Since then, Dibler and the community have kept Fouty, who lived in Oxford from 1991-2000 and attended Clear Lake Elementary through the third grade, in their prayers and kept the home fires burning with their faith and well wishes.
‘I’ve always tried to do the best I can to hold out hope,? Dibler said. ‘My heart’s heavy for all those that held hope with us.?
But he was also realistic. ‘I’ll be honest with you, everyday I played out every scenario I could think of,? Dibler said.
In the end, when the moment of truth finally arrived, it didn’t help ease the pain.
‘I don’t care how much you think you’ve practiced or you think you’ve prepared, you’re still let down so far . . . you really can’t get your bearings,? Dibler said.
Although he has his own burden of sadness to bear, right now Dibler’s trying to stay focused and be strong for his 16-year-old daughter, Sarah, who’s Fouty’s half sister and works as a hostess at JONMARX Steaks and Seafood in downtown Oxford.
‘She’s a pretty strong young lady, but I know she’s hurting,? he said. ‘My time will come a little later I’m sure.?
Once Fouty’s remains are released from the military, they will be flown to Michigan.
Depending on the scheduling of things, Dibler’s hoping to hold a memorial service at Walled Lake Central High School, which Fouty attended for a little over three years, and have a viewing of the casket at Lynch & Sons Funeral Home in Walled Lake. Ideally, he’d like all this to happen this weekend, but everything’s uncertain at this point.
‘We know we’re going to have a lot of people,? he said.
At some point in the future, Dibler would like to hold a special ceremony to honor Fouty at the Great Lakes National Cemetery in Holly.
Fouty will be buried in Sam Houston National Cemetery in San Antonio, Texas which is near where his mother, Hilary Meunier, lives.
Dibler appreciates all the support he’s received from everyone from trusted friends to complete strangers. ‘I’ve had some wonderful calls from people all over,? he said.
A Marine from Connecticut telephoned to offer his condolences while a lady from Louisiana is planning to mail Dibler a POW/MIA bracelet bearing Fouty’s name.
Dibler believes Fouty, who attended Orion Schools for a few years and received his GED through the district, would want to be remembered as a ‘caring person.? Over in Iraq, Fouty was always willing to lend a hand whether it was to aid a fellow soldier or an Iraqi.
‘He had a helpful spirit,? Dibler said.
Fouty would also want to be remembered as someone who loved his family very much and had a great sense of humor.
Dibler recalled he liked to joke around and ‘had a wonderful laugh.?
But when the time came to become a man, to find direction and conviction in his life, Fouty rose to the challenge and took his role in the army very seriously when he enlisted in June 2006.
‘I was very proud of the tall, young soldier he became,? said Dibler, noting Fouty’s ‘drive? and the goals he accomplished in his short life were an inspiration to him.
Dibler said the best way for people to remember Fouty and honor his memory is to get involved in a local group that creates care packages for the troops or sends letters and cards to them.
‘Do the best you can to hook up with a soldier and care for them,? he said. ‘Make a connection with a soldier. They’re going to need somebody when they get home, so start now.?
Those wishing to honor Fouty can also send donations to Walled Lake Central’s Byron Fouty Fund, which was set up to assist students who love history/social studies and wish to pursue military careers. Checks can be made out to Walled Lake Central High School, 1600 Oakley Park, Walled Lake, MI 48390.
Donations can also be sent in Fouty’s name to the Fisher House (www.fisherhouse.org) in Fort Sam Houston, Texas. This organization supports homes built on the grounds of major military and veterans medical centers. These homes allow family members to be close to loved ones during hospitalization.