Gosh . . . I don’t know . . . for at least a decade, I have set aside December columns for writing about Christmas. Christmas past, Christmas with the kids, Christmas as a kid; Christmas memories, music and musings. I’ve laid wood on fruitcake and pontificated on all sorts of Christmasy crap.
I’ve let my own naive, happy, sappy self get lost in the season’s magic . . . and in all these years I never thought (until just now) that all those sparkly musings may actually make some feel sad.
Just because I ‘believe? in the wonderfulness and lived a Leave It To Beaver life as ever there was one in American suburbia, doesn’t mean you do or did. For some folks the holiday season brings anxiety, sadness and pain. And, if I think about it, maybe some of my Christmas columns written while Plum Fairies danced across my mind, actually have hurt some of you. Maybe, my view of the holidays through my rose-colored glasses can be like a kick in the gut to some of you who are already down for Christmas.
To you I write, today.
Your memories are yours alone. Maybe you can make some new ones this year; write a new chapter starting with this holiday season. Maybe if you open just a wee bit and let some of the overflowing love bombs that, unfortunately, seem only to be flung this time of year hit you, you can find a true smile versus the ones you paint on for everybody else to see.
Every chapter of every book ever written starts with just one word. Maybe your new chapter can start with the word, ‘Smile.?
And grow it from that small, five-lettered word. Baby steps, baby!
Holiday depression is not a singular affliction. You are not alone in your feelings of loneliness or sadness. Here are some tips from the Mayo Clinic’s web page on holiday stress and depression.
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Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, e-mails or videos.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
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To you who are sad, alone and just not ‘feeling it,? this holiday season, I wish you peace. I offer you love. Figuratively or literally, I give you my hand to hold. If you need, I will tenderly, gently and with compassion wipe away your tears. Your pain is yours alone, I know. Know though, you are not alone . . .
. . . Oh, and if you want, I just saw some cool things on-line you can ingest to make your poop sparkle and glitter . . . and if glittery, sparkly poop doesn’t make you smile, let me know I will come up with some other sort of bathroom humor that might do the trick.
I will be thinking of you this holiday, I promise.
Send thoughts and comments Mr. Donny Sunshine via e-mail, Don@ShermanPublications.org