Goodrich – Joan Turner writes two pieces of advice in each wedding card she signs:
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and keep the lines of communication open.
‘Because tomorrow isn’t promised,? said Joan, who has shared more than four decades of marriage with husband Larry Turner.
Joan and Larry met in the spring of 1962 through close friends who owned a little cigar store across from A.C. Spark Plug, said Joan.
‘He was really a shy person and I was very outgoing,? she said. ‘They wanted me to kind of tease him.?
Larry recalls friends showing him a photo of Joan, who was fresh out of college and working in the accounting department of the former downtown Flint IMA. She was 23; he was 28.
‘I said, well, I’d like to meet her,? said Larry, a U.S. Army and Air Force veteran, who worked at A.C. and attended college classes at Baker College and the University of Michigan-Flint.
Joan can still picture the couple’s first meeting in their friends? basement.
‘I thought he was so cute,? she said with a smile, recalling the light green jacket Larry wore that day.
In Joan’s family, obtaining matriarchal approval was crucial for any beau.
‘I think the biggest thing was the grandmothers accepted me,? Larry said.
The ways of the boisterous Sefa family, who owned Sefa Brothers market in Goodrich, were new to the quiet-natured Larry.
‘Larry was from a very different ethnic background,? said Joan, who is Lebanese. ‘It was like culture shock sometimes.?
After winning the blessing of Joan’s father, the couple became engaged in March and planned an Aug. 18, 1962 wedding.
Nearly 800 guests turned out for the wedding, an all-day event.
‘Almost the whole town came to the wedding,’said Joan.
Between the noon ceremony and brunch, and the evening reception, the entire bridal party drove to Saginaw to visit Joan’s uncle, who was dying and couldn’t attend.
The family unit has been the nucleus holding the couple together through nearly 42 years of marriage, years both good and difficult.
Four children were born to the Turners: Brian, Paul, Ann Marie and Todd.
Health problems contributed to Larry’s decision to live in Arizona during one season of their marriage.
‘I never fell out of love,? said Larry.
‘I think in any marriage there’s rough spots and if you can get past that, things can get better,? Joan said. ‘If you stick it out, I think it’s worth it.?
A ‘very supportive? extended family helped ease the Turners through the inevitable obstacles of marriage. Joan suggests it’s a positive decision for young couples to spend occasional individual and couple time away from their children.
‘Even today couples don’t take time for themselves,? said Joan, who welcomes watching their eight grandchildren so the moms and dads can ‘take time out?.
Good relatives are invaluable in a relationship, says the couple.
‘I had a good mother-in-law,? said Joan. ‘I think that helps. She never interfered. She never competed, she was a sweetheart.?
‘We’ve been lucky,? Larry said. ‘I had good in-laws.?
‘And wonderful children,? said Joan.
Although Joan and Larry were raised in different churches, faith is a bond that’s cemented their marriage. Joan freely requests prayer for their expected twin granddaughters, and the parents of the tiny girls.
‘We have a lot of faith, and instilled that in our children,? Joan said. ‘I believe my religion has sustained me through a lot of this.?
In celebration of their marriage, their family, and their faith, the couple renewed their vows after 25 years of marriage, during the 50th anniversary party held for Joan’s parents.
Today, the couple is still focused on family, as well as friends. They’re not a ‘mushy? couple, insists Joan, suddenly remembering their tradition of kissing at every departure.
‘If I forget, he comes out to the car and says, ‘Did you forget something?? Joan said, with an affectionate smile in Larry’s direction.
The Turners seem to have brought out the best in each other during their marriage.
‘I’ve changed quite a bit,? said Larry. ‘I was very bashful when I was young.?
‘Opposites attract, and I think that’s our case,? Joan said.
‘He’s calm, and I think I brought him out of his shyness.?
While the Turners freely describe some of their marriage as ‘Rocky Road,? it’s nonetheless been a good journey.
‘I’ve never wanted anybody else,? said Larry, quietly. ‘I just need to have her near me. I even get upset when she doesn’t get home on time. I just like having her near.?
The couple doesn’t get out to many movies, and Joan feels she’s ‘too hyper? to share Larry’s golf interests. They do, however, find themselves together in the kitchen, preparing tabouleh or other foods for the crowds that gather there.
‘He chops the onion and tomato; I do the parsley,? says Joan.
‘She’s quite a cook,? says Larry.
As they approach their 42nd Valentine’s Day, the Turners feel theirs is a love that’s passed the test of time.
‘Everybody has problems. People give in too fast now,? said Joan. ‘We’ve made it through the rough spots, and now we’ll grow old together.?