Elvis Presley sang a song in the late 1960s for the movie, Live a Little, Love a Little. The song, I believe written by Mac Davis (who also wrote In the Ghetto), was titled A Little Less Conversation. It wasn’t that cool of a song in the late ?60s, but became popular with a remix/dance version in the 2000s.
Of course, the above tidbits entertianment insight are not the point of this column, they were just random thoughts which materialized into that vast darkness between my ears when I tried to write about what I am about to . . .
. . . I while back, I wrote a very lovely (if I do say so myself, and I just did) bit of verbiage dedicated to recent graduates.
I offered sage advice for the newly, anointed adults and at least one part struck somebody’s nerve. I received a note that, in part said, ‘Don, can you do a little bit more on empathy??
One quick answer is, ‘Yes.?
Another is, ‘No, look it up for yourself.?
Since a short answer will not fill column space, here comes a longer answer. I know, I know. Be still your beating heart — I can see you all fist pumping the air now that you know what’s about to follow.
What is empathy? I think it’s caring about another person, even if you don’t know that person.
So, you’re in your office, by the water cooler, by a show of hands, how many of you have snickered to or with a co-worker something like this?
‘Did you see that lardo, chugging along the walking path last night. Jeeze, I can walk faster than he’s ‘running!? Why do that? I don’t want to see that!?
Laughter ensues.
How much empathy do you think was shown there? If you guessed little to none, you win the prize. That situation was the opposite of empathetic — sorta, anti-empathy, if you will.
A person with empathy upon seeing a person chugging along on the walkway might think, ‘Good for you.?
See, the thing is, it is quite easy to sit back and make fun of other people, especially if you have never had a set back in your life; if you’ve been given everything and blessed with awesome health. It is quite another thing if this isn’t your life.
Why make fun of a person trying to better themselves? What good does that do that person — heck how does that make you a better person?
Before pulling the trigger on the sweaty, little chugger jogger jokes, stop.
Have a little less conversation and a little more empathy. Think . . . do you know what ails this person? Do you know why they are out there?
Do you care they are only chugging because maybe their knees are in pain or their hips . . . maybe they’ve been out for a hour and are tired. Maybe their heart is broken and full of pain. Maybe they have been a prolonged sense of depression and this is their shot of getting out of their bad spot.
So, who are you to poke fun at these living, breathing human beings?
Where is your empathy?
What would you do, were you walking — chugging — along in that person’s shoes? What would you have others think of you?
For those who don’t know, it takes a certain amount of mental moxie to put yourself out in front of the world to affect change. It’s probably easier to try and affect change for the benefit of others — it is much, much harder to try and better yourself.
It is embarrassing to admit such things about yourself! I know when I first started walking again recently, I waited until it was almost dark outside before I laced up my white sneakers and started chugging.
The fact of the matter was I did not want anybody to know what I was doing. Rather than thinking positively, ‘Let’s go old man, let’s get out and stretch those legs, pick ’em up and lay ’em down.?
I was embarrassed by myself. I did not want anyone to see me huffing and puffing. (I have since gotten over myself and now sweat, pant and walk-jog by the light of the sun — in living color for all to see — if they even care.)
So, back to empathy. You want to affect positive change in the world? Do you want to set a good example for your kids, or other young people? Be empathetic.
When you see that person chugging along in life (whether it is merely walking, or sputtering along emotionally) offer some encouragement. Give them a wave, a shout out, ‘Keep it up! You can do it!?
Or simply smile and think to yourself, ‘Good for you.?