Congressional antics, competitive eating and Dan who?

I see where some survey shows Congress has a 14 percent approval rating.
That shows a need for Congress to appoint a committee to study the thinking of that 14 percent.
Another report states that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a professed advocate of a full-time legislature, has scheduled 20 weeks off for members, and the workdays will be Tuesday through Thursday.
I couldn’t have made this up.
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An old-timer remembers playing ‘King of the Hill? on a pile of gravel left on a vacant construction site. ‘When we got hurt, Mom pulled out a bottle of 48-cent Mercurochrome and then we got our butts spanked.?
Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of an $89 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such an invitation to disaster.
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Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. However, ESPN recently televised the U. S. Open of Competitive Eating, perhaps because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too exciting.
What’s next, competitive wind breaking? Oh, wait, they’re already doing that on way too many shows.
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Even in the newspaper business, awkward putting-together-of-words occurs. They are especially noticeable in headlines. They’re so big. Like:
‘Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant? (See if that works better than a fair trial.)
‘New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group? (Weren’t they fat enough?)
‘Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead? (No kidding!)
‘Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over? (What?)
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Hey, you grocery shoppers! Have you noticed how many new names meat marketers have added to steak descriptions?
For years I’ve managed with t-bone, Porterhouse, sirloin and hamburger steak. Maybe a dozen years ago Delmonicos gained a presence.
Here’s a list of steaks I’ve seen in the counters lately: Flat Iron steak, rib eye, Texas broil, beef tri-tip, chuck eye, eye-of-the-round, eye steak, strip (which looks like New York Strip) and tip sizzler.
Many, I think, should come with a grading: Tough, really tough, semi-tough, tenderer than semi-tough, some call it tough and tender.
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I was watching the Masters Golf Tournament with grandson Dan, the 21-year-old Master in his own mind, and I commented about the appearance of the younger professional golfers.
Their shirts were too tight, sleeves too short, the unsightly growth on their chins and lips and hair unkempt.
Dan said, ‘They are probably over-groomed. They have on designer shirts, pants and shoes, their hair, wherever it is, is styled and you’re too old to even understand styling and to know what’s in and what’s out.?
From now on, when anyone asks me about him I’m responding, ‘Dan who??
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I never watched a first-run Seinfeld show. But now the re-runs fit in one of my open-time slots, between Vanna (Wheel of Fortune) and baseball, football, basketball hockey or any of the CSI shows, I watch. It’s a funny show, as they say, about nothing. Which, sometimes, is the description of baseball, football, basketball and the CSI shows.
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Nature, time and patience are three great physicians.