‘I am embarrassed,? the woman on the other end of my office phone told me . . . and then she told me her concerns.
Hmm? Well damn.
* * *
I will be the first to admit when the school bells commence to ring, announcing the start of a new school year, I feel a little sad. Not so much so that my cobalt blue eyes mist over — I just feel a little ache deep down there at the bottom of my keister when those darned school bells toll.
No, it’s not me mourning the end of summer; nor do I regal feelings of remorse that all the children have less time to run, play and laugh because of the copious amounts of homework sure to mess up their social lives. None of that. Nothing so lofty or philosophical.
Hell, no. I am much to selfish to think of philosophical loftinesses and the wellbeing of others, ‘specially those darned kids.
The start of a new school year just means I will spend more time sitting on my generous buttocks, behind the wheel of my sparkly gray Ford Escape in much, much slower morning and afternoon traffic. And the slower traffic ? obviously ? is caused by tons of kids driving themselves to school every morning and not fast moving, and oft stopping school buses transporting kids to school.
Which leads me back the beginning . . .
. . . A local bus driver called me last Friday.
‘I have just returned from New York,? said she. ‘And, I am embarrassed to say, drivers in Michigan and even locally, are more rude than those in New York.?
‘Pray tell,? I rather sarcastically replied as my Michigan pride went up in arms at the slight dealt to my brethren and sistren Mitten state drivers.
‘I am not exaggerating,? she countered. ‘The level of driver compassion here in North Oakland County is awful. People run stops signs and red lights; they ignore the flashing lights on my bus. People in town seem to be in too big a hurry, or they are texting. I can tell you, they are not thinking about safety. I had a bicyclist yelling profanities at my bus ? with all the kids hearing him.?
I think I snarkily muttered something about the spandex revolution taking over our roads, ‘and wasn’t that a damned shame? and that I’d do something about this new phenom of what I will now call the Dufus Driver. I don’t know if she believed me, but while I may be a sarcastic and selfish lot-tee-da, I am a man of my word (albeit snarky).
* * *
Buses these days hold about 70 kids. During the mornings and afternoons in Clarkston there are about 50 buses on the roads. That’s a lot of kids. Now, add in communities like Oxford, Brandon, Goodrich and Orion and you got lots of buses and tons of human cargo that needs to get to and from school in the same condition as when they first left their mommy’s apron.
According to the US Department of Transportation, from 2003 to 2012, there were 1,222 fatal motor vehicle traffic crashes involving school transport vehicles, resulting in 1,353 people dying. Think about that people . . . over 130 people a year (on average) never make it home because of school-transportation-related crashes. Not all, I am sure, are caused by Dufus Drivers, but I bet a fair share of them are.
* * *
My buttocks aside, nobody likes to sit in traffic longer than they have to. That said, welcome to the club folks! It is a part of life. Relax. It’s better to get to where you are going late, than to cause an accident that may harm you or another. (Do you really wanna go through life knowing your dufusness caused a kid to be killed? )
I love sleeping in as much as the next cranky, old honky white dude, but, you know what? Every year, starting on that first Tuesday after Labor Day, I set my alarm 20 minutes early.
Rise and shine, Cupcake!
You can, too. If you are that Dufus Driver person ? always in a hurry, impatient, texting ? please allow yourself more time to get to where you’re going, watch for kids (and kid drivers) and pay attention to all the traffic signals. Hey, all the cool kids are doing it, I’m doing it ? you can do it, too!