Former Detroit Mayoral Chief of Staff, Christine Beatty was ordered to wear a tether by a magistrate. Her attorney, Mayer Marganroth, in defending her, asked the camera, ‘How is she going to explain that to her two little girls at home??
My question is, ‘How did she explain the text messages to her two daughters??
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Under a travel news headline: Don’t come into Metro Airport at night and expect to find a taxi. Contracted Metro Airport Taxi cuts its fleet to 10 or 15 at night, for 110 days. However, there were none available from 2:30 to 3:00 a.m. on a recent Tuesday. Why? The company’s night dispatcher sometimes has to leave her post to go across the street to the fire station to go to the restroom because there are no facilities in dispatch for women. Issue a lawyer alert! Contact the Animal Cruelty bunch. Get the Civil Rights people involved. And, don’t forget the U.N, NLRB, UAW, Greenies, Al Gore, zoners and Nancy Pelosi. There’s got to be a place in the workplace for everyone to go at all times.
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Now for my ‘intrusion? story, lengthy though it may be.
Why do we do so many things in life that make us question our own sanity? Like: why do we get sold into buying three quarts of berries for $5 when we know two will spoil? Why do I climb a ladder when I have this fear of falling?
Why do I listen to and read the same weather reports a half-dozen times a day? Why did I put in a gas fireplace and never turn it on? Why do I go into a grocery store for eggs, bread and milk and come out with a van full?
And, why did I schedule an optometrist, opthamologist, dentist, my GP and a colo-rectal specialist in the same week? Oh, yeah, that was the same week I sprained an ankle and broke a bone in my foot that was connected to my ankle bone, that was connected to my knee bone, that was connected to . . .
This was my third colonoscopy (it’s an aging thing), and the worst and best. Prescribe me an enema anytime over that half-gallon of re-sealant. I had the ‘goes? way too far into the night. The written instructions had ended with, ‘hopefully you will finish evacuating the solution to have a good night’s sleep.?
It didn’t happen.
It was the pre-exam experience at Bald Mountain Surgical that was memorable. I had splashed on some great after shave, only to learn my face was of no concern.
You could hear instructions from Denise, Laura and Terri telling each patient, ‘Now don’t be bashful or shy when you come out. Let it go. You’ll have a lot of air, and you shouldn’t try to hold it in.?
What a great scene comedians Sid Caesar, Robin Williams or Richard Pryor could have made of this setting. Maybe they did.
But, what a contradiction to what our mothers told us. There was none of Dad’s finger pulling, and as it turned out, there was no need for finger pulling. Emissions came, not too fast at first, but gaseous, gracious later!
Even my watching-over daughter Luan added her advice. ‘Dad, you’re going to have to and want to, but maybe feel like you shouldn’t. Get over it and let it go!? she said.
At home it brought a smile to Shayna’s face, as I tried to convince her I only needed to light candles for hers.
I was going to start this item with: There’s only two good things that can come from a colonoscopy: a report of no polyps and the pleasure of refilling the tract.
Another Jottings is most important right now. I can write about a body function that’s encouraged, an emission usually reserved for deer camp, an escapement that’s medically supported and a release more joyful than ten years in Jackson Prison.