On August 6, 2005, I wrote . . .
A little more than midway down and all of the way west in the ‘mitten? part of Michigan lies Ottawa County. This county is rich in its farming tradition. And, just like in our area, those once rich in farming, sooner or later become rich in housing developments.
Some, like the eco-terrorists of the Earth Liberation Front (ELF), might call that urban sprawl. Some, like land developers and real estate agents might just call it ‘opportunity.?
Regardless, the transition between farms and neighborhoods can sometimes be, umm, well in a word, awkward. The good folks on the Ottawa County Planning Commission know this. And, as they are good, salt of the earth folk, the planning commission has created a brochure to help those who might build a home in farming country.
What’s unique and groovy about this brochure is it’s of the scratch and sniff variety. Yep, prospective home buyers can scratch the special area, put it up to their noses and smell God’s country . . . cow manure and all!
The Planning Commission types say this is not an attempt to thwart land development, rather, an effort to stop whiny, city-folk from complaining (good luck). Seems some of these newcomers are calling the cops on their neighbors (the farmers) because farms, well, stink. And, because they hear mean old tractors all the time and because their new homes get dusty.
The newcomers forget that farms are messy, stinking, dusty, noisy operations. That’s not to say they’re bad neighbors, just messy, stinky, dusty, noisy neighbors.
Since we’re on the subject, I think the Ottawa County Planning Commission folks could do some real good by sending a few of those brochures to ELF. And, those whacky eco-terrorists from ELF would do good to use these brochures instead of burning down $40 million worth of new home construction.
* * *
By the way, the ELF folks are crossbred with the ALF folks — those kooky eco-terrorists who don’t like the way human animals treat other, lower-on-the-food-chain animals.
* * *
Since we’re talking about ELFs and ALFs and farming — if you’re into saving the planet by eating and drinking and using soy products, you may be interested in reading further.
Seems faster than you can say two all beef paddies, special sauce, cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles on a sesame seed bun, tropical forests in South America are being clear cut — not because of the cattle ranchers, rather because of those cruel and mean soybean farmers. The Forest Conversion News (out of Switzerland) says Brazil could overtake the US as the world’s largest soybean producer within the decade.
Further, soybean fields have expanded by two-thirds to 30 million hectares in South America since 1995.
For those not in the know, one hectare equals a little less than 2.5 acres. So, by doing the math, in eight years soybeaners have stolen 75 million acres of God’s green earth for ill-gotten gains made from soy products.
Damn PETA! Damn the vegans!
It’s a conspiracy!
They’re destroying our planet!
Save the Earth — Eat more beef!
* * *
Comments for he who likes being on top of the food-chain (Don) can be e-mailed to: dontrushmedon@aol.com