I’d love to whistle, but my pucker’s gone

T’was a cheery day and I was on my way to nowhere in particular, and in no hurry to get there, when my music playing radio station, CKWW, started a Ted Weems recording.
I think it was ‘Heartaches,? my favorite whistling tune. The sun was shining, I was feeling good, good enough to whistle.
Now, I’ve whistled all my life, but obviously not lately. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I puckered up and tried to whistle a tune.
I say ‘obviously not lately? because holding a pucker very long pained my lips. Too, my whistling noise was infrequent. I couldn’t accompany Mr. Weems.
No, my whistler wasn’t the first to go, just one of the many. But I suddenly miss it. Just now I tried again to do ‘Heartaches,? and the results were unchanged.
It must be my lips. Certainly I have as much air to emit as ever. Hey, Mr. Mirror, have my lips shrunk or swollen? No. Then maybe it’s my tongue. I have noticed when competing with my 8-year-old granddaughter to see who can turn their tongue over the ‘furtherest? she’s winning. I used to be the champion tongue-turner-overer.
Learning to whistle is an important goal. It should be part of every school’s curriculum. Those who can’t do ‘Heartaches? shouldn’t be graduated.
Of course, parents should have taught their young’uns to whistle before teaching them to tie their shoes. It’s that important to the social part of their lives.
And, it isn’t just tune whistling that should be taught. Shrill whistling is a priority, too.
When, in the movie ‘To Have and Have Not,? Lauren Bacall says to Bogey, ‘You know how to whistle don’t you? Just pucker up and blow,? she wasn’t just referring to making music. She was referring to attention-getting noise.
Many guys and gals use the fingers-in-the-mouth technique. They pull back the corners of their mouth, hold up the edges of their tongue and blow hard.
Years ago covering a high school basketball game I heard this extremely shrill whistle in the stands. There stood whispy Teresa Davidson, nee-Noftz, blowing through her fingers, rooting on her team with a whistle that sent shivers through her neighbors and brought a smile to my face.
Her mother says daughters Tammy and Tara have the same ability, but not Teresa’s volume.
I learned that whistle style, but found I could get just as shrill a noise without tying up my hands, thus I could applaud and whistle at the same time. Very important when you’re a teen.
* * *
Another early-taught trick is winking. Grandson, Trevor, 4, is a major winker. Somewhere in my youth winking was important if you wanted to play ‘Sly Winkum.?
The idea of that game was to wink quickly and with the slightest possible facial involvement. I have no idea what the goal was.
Somehow related to this achievement was the ability to raise one eyebrow at a time. Again the goal escapes me. Maybe it was getting something to brag about, leading to a ridiculously high male ego that took years of Hazel’s life to slightly alter.
* * *
For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.