Ortonville- It’s a Tuesday afternoon and Alex Martin is at the park again.
He pushes his three young children on a merry-go-round as they laugh and he smiles at their joy. He chases after his 1-year-old daughter Claire, and calls out to his 4-year-old to stay away from the strange cat she leans down to pet. Moments later, he is at the swings with 3-year-old Herbie, obliging him as Herbie says, ‘Push me again, Daddy!?
Just another day at work for the 39-year-old full-time stay-at-home dad, and he is loving every minute of it.
‘It’s been wonderful? the best job I’ve ever had,? says Martin, who was unsure if he even wanted to be a father when he married wife Kristi 15 years ago.
He recalls his niece changing his mind as he held her on his shoulders one day and she pulled his hair and screamed.
‘I thought, ‘I could be a dad,? he says, smiling now as he holds Claire on his shoulders. ‘It’s not what I imagined, it’s much better.?
Still, Martin didn’t plan on being a stay-at-home father. He had been a construction manager for about 10 years and was enjoying his job when he and Kristi brought newborn Emma, whom they adopted, home from the hospital four years ago.
Martin worked long hours, had a long commute and soon realized this wasn’t the kind of fatherhood he envisioned.
‘It became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to be the daddy that I wanted to be, with getting home at 7 at night,? he said. ‘We compared schedules and decided I should stay home.?
Less than two years later, they adopted son Herbie at 6-months-old and thought they were done, but, Martin says, ‘God tapped us on the shoulder and said, ‘you’re not done.??
Daughter Claire, their last, he says, was born 19 months ago.
Now, his days are filled with spending time with his kids. Martin says a usual day starts out with getting the kids up, making breakfast and helping mommy, a speech pathologist for the Brandon Schools, out the door. Next, he works on strategies to keep the television off? taking the children to the YMCA, grocery shopping (which can get hairy, he says) and around the village, to Crossman Park, the library and Thompson’s Hardware.
He describes his duties as pretty much the same as a stay-at-home mom, and while he knows a stay-at-home dad isn’t the usual yet, it’s not so unusual anymore, either. Being called a ‘Mr. Mom? doesn’t bother him.
‘A lot of guys my age have done this between jobs and learned it’s not for them,? he says. ‘It’s not easy.?
Martin does most of the laundry and cooking; however, he says he is no Martha Stewart and doesn’t keep the house as clean as he should, but it is clean enough and they manage to eat everyday.
His most difficult task is just to keep up with everyone.
‘Emma is into everything and Claire is walking and puts everything in her mouth,? he said.
The family had to make a financial adjustment with the decision to have Martin stay at home with the kids and some sacrifices were made. They don’t eat out as often, or as well, but the change was not that big, as they never bought fancy cars and stuff anyway, he said, and adds they have also saved the costs of commuting, childcare and eating out more.
A few summers ago, Martin worked on a construction site in Ohio and Kristi and the kids drove down on weekends to see him. But he won’t be doing that this year.
‘It’s wonderful to have the family all together and that’s why I’m staying home this summer,? he said.
When asked if he misses his old job, he laughs and says sometimes he wishes he was back at work, but he knows that will happen soon enough, when his children are in school full-time, and he will be wishing he was with them again.
When asked what is the best Father’s Day gift, he swallows hard as tears spring to his eyes. He nods toward Emma and Herbie who are playing and looks upward with a gesture to Claire, perched on his shoulders.
‘Just seeing these guys,? he says, voice cracking.
Moments later, as Herbie goes down a slide backward, Martin runs over, calling to the little boy he named after his own father.
Martin says his dad worked full-time outside the home, but his children always came first and he aspires to be the kind of father his dad was.
‘My wish for my children is that they will always be happy in whatever they do,? he said. ‘My kids have taught me a whole new level of love.?