Brandon Twp.- Gail Glaspie didn’t set out to find true love and a new husband when she decided to try computer dating.
But this Valentine’s Day, that is exactly what she has.
‘I just wanted to use the tools available to us nowadays to have a social life,? says the township deputy clerk, now 61. ‘The logical place to meet someone is at a bar or party, but I’m not going to meet anyone my age there… At the bar scene, I would have found withering old drunks or three, four, five-time divorced guys. Not a good pool to swim in.?
Most of Glaspie’s friends were married and she found there were not many ways to connect at her age with the compatible companion she was looking for.
So Glaspie went to the online service Yahoo! Personals to find someone two years ago, against the advice of co-worker Karen McArthur, who warned that rather than finding love, Glaspie might find an axe murderer and end up in a field.
‘I realize Ted Bundy was a very charming, charismatic person, but I had confidence I wasn’t going to run into any Ted Bundys,? says Glaspie. ‘Once I saw the person live, if I’d had any qualms I would have got back in my car and left.?
Glaspie chose Yahoo! Personals because she liked how users write their own profile instead of answering what she calls a bunch of canned questions, like some other sites. Although there are a few questions on Yahoo!, they are basic questions of age and location.
Susan Mernit, senior director of product development for Yahoo! Personals, said the service got its start in 2003, and is one of the first online dating services, and adds it is also one of the most visited such sites on the internet, although they do not release the number of subscribers.
Visitors to the site can do a free search of personals, although if they want to communicate with someone, they must join, requiring a paid subscription of anywhere from one month to one year, depending on the package.
‘People generally look for someone that meets the criteria of age and distance,? says Mernit. ‘They can create a profile for themselves and contact is through Yahoo!, so they are protected… It’s truly a kind of community because you can see people who are compatible and you can also see who is looking at you.?
Online dating is a growing phenomena, says Mernit, citing studies that say 16 million Americans have used an online dating website and 60 million Americans know someone who has used a site.
It’s becoming very much a part of our culture,? she said. ‘It’s so convenient. People are really busy and have demands on their time, and you can get online and correspond when its convenient for you and mutually decide if you want to take the next step? meeting and seeing if you connect.?
Glaspie tried to give as much information about herself as possible, so any potential suitors could gauge whether they would be interested in contacting her. She tried to shy away from anyone that checked ‘I’ll tell you later? for a question or didn’t include a photo, saying that one can tell a lot about a person from their eyes and smile.
Glaspie met in person with about a dozen men she had found through the service in the summer of 2004.. Although two were what she called ‘jerks,? most were just men that she didn’t click with. All were one-time dates.
Then, near the end of that summer, Ken Bronkema initiated contact with her through the site. Glaspie hesitated to respond at first, because of the distance involved? with her living in Lapeer, and he a Harrison resident (150 miles northwest of Ortonville) and because the information in his profile indicated he was much more of an athlete than she is.
‘I would describe myself as an athletic supporter,? says Glaspie. ‘I thought he might want a participant and I’m a spectator. I was also not interested in a long-distance romance.?
But Glaspie found herself rereading his profile and drawn to the fact he was a non-smoking, nice-looking, Christian man with no children involved. What ultimately led her to contact him was a photo showing Bronkema napping on the pontoon boat of a friend with a baby on his chest.
‘He just looked so relaxed and at ease with that baby’which was not his, by the way,? says Glaspie. ‘I thought, ‘Any guy that can look that comfortable holding an infant can’t be all bad.? I decided, what do I have to lose except time??
So she responded to his e-mail, giving him her name and number and the pair agreed to a Saturday afternoon date in Frankenmuth.
They met in a shopping parking lot and approached each other in the same manner, each of them with both hands extended to take the hands of the other. It wasn’t love at first sight, but Glaspie says she knew instantly they would click. They had a picnic on the bank of a river and talked and talked. She remembers laughing and giggling a lot and thinking that she wanted to get to know him better.
She did, learning that his brother, Bill Bronkema, was the retired pastor of Ortonville Baptist Church. She also learned that two of her three children had Ken Bronkema’s nephew as a substitute teacher when they attended Brandon High School.
She thinks now it was destiny. Last August, Bronkema gave her an engagement ring on her birthday, and they were married last month, on Jan. 12, at the Old Town Hall in Ortonville, with his brother officiating.
‘I think it was fate,? says Glaspie, now Gail Bronkema. ‘Why else would I have to venture into, as my son, a network administrator, put it, ‘the vast, dark world of the internet,? to connect with someone 150 miles away who turns out to be the brother of the local pastor and uncle to a substitute teacher that two of my children knew when they attended Brandon High School??
She believes Ken, 67, comes closest to her idea of a soulmate and the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with and says, ‘At our age, that could be very short, but it will be very sweet.?
Mernit uses online dating herself.
‘The great thing about the internet is it gives you the opportunity to meet someone and find happiness with someone you couldn’t find in the real world or everyday life,? she said. ‘Not only can you find people, but you get a sense of what they want. That’s a very powerful combination.?