My marathon running, otherwise semi-normal son-in-law, Tim, tried to prove something the day before Easter.
We all awoke to a few inches of snow. Tim announced he was going to run out and get the newspaper, barefoot. After only four steps out in the snow, he returned.
This prompted 12-year-old granddaughter Savannah to conclude, ‘I must have been adopted!?
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I can’t keep up with seldom changing men’s fashions, so I certainly can’t keep up with women’s.
Plus, I certainly know I’m not supposed to ask a smock-dressed female if she is pregnant. So, I asked her mother-in-law. Now, I know this woman speaks without inhaling or exhaling and certainly without thought.
So, she (I’ll call her Dianne) didn’t hesitate to laughingly, loudly and embarrassingly to me, announce to the dozen people present my faux pas. Ok, enough French.
This charming gal was wearing what, to me, looked like a maternity top. I was impolitely informed this style of top is the now popular ‘baby doll? blouse.
If I had reasoning power I could have guessed. Recently I saw a 9-month pregnant waitress. She was wearing a tee shirt that couldn’t be stretched over her pregnancy, and her pull-up bottom didn’t reach the tee.
This wasn’t the first mother-to-be I’ve seen so dressed. It must be today’s fashion.
I’m going to have to call my older sister to see if I’ll ever get over changing fashions, jumping to wrong conclusions and putting both feet in my mouth.
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I sprained a foot recently. Seems like I’ve seen such injuries on the gridiron, and the trainers apply ice. So I did that, then asked the above sister. She said, put a frozen package of peas on it.
When I gave in to doctoring, the MD said, ‘Ice it first, then heat after that, put on an Ace wrap.? Right this minute I’m three hours from those instructions. My next treatment might be 80 proof. Oh, I forgot to mention, my ‘sprain? was actually a ‘break.? Did I say, 80-proof . . . maybe I’ll make it a double?
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Quickies:
? Did you know Office Depot has ball-point pen refills? They’re for guys like me who love their logo gift pens.
? The way some people find fault, you’d think there was some kind of reward.
? Bought some pants at J C Penney’s Big and Tall. When I tried them on at home, I found the waist too big and me too tall.
? Did you hear about the two Irishmen who came out of the bar?
It’s possible!
? There was some idle conversation following dinner. One woman guest remarked, ‘I only weigh myself when I’m naked. I even take my glasses off.? A male guest offered, ‘If you need the scales read sometime call me.?
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Generally speaking, when I get a phone call that starts, ‘I’m calling about your current credit card account. There’s no trouble now, but? . . . . I click it.
I didn’t have my clicker when this message was aired on my tv: ‘If you have over $10,000 in credit card bills, you should call,? and there followed an attorney firm’s name and phone number.
If you have over $10,000 in credit card bills you should see a therapist, call a shrink, pastor, priest, mystic, or Senator Clinton or Obama and plead for more government handouts.
These advertisements are from someone who says they can get the debt lowered to practically zero balance. Of course, some soul is going to have to pay for the tv airtime, support the firms families and still have some debt.
Oh, yeah, the casinos and lotteries aren’t exactly retirement plans either.
To have, you have to save. So, quit your bad habits and put the money in a piggy bank.