Some readers may recall seeing a similar column ten years ago. For three decades before that Elizabeth Baldwin frightened and enlivened acquaintances with ‘tricks.?
She knew I hated green peppers, so they were a frequent gift from her to me. And, I gave her a pepper plant, potted and ribboned, in return.
I wrote originally that I thought millions of people, who, like Liz, enjoyed to play jokes on people, like those who steal concrete geese and send pictures of those geese to the owners from various locations in their travels.
I’m repeating those ‘Liz Tricks? for your amusement and use.
? Put live gold fish in host’s toilet tank.
? Put them on Victoria Secret’s mailing list.
? Misspell their names in cards and letters.
? Give husband of ailing wife a recipe for chicken soup and a live chicken.
? When you know someone hates something (see above) give them lots of it.
? Give toilet paper, write them notes on toilet paper, give a gas station size roll of toilet paper.
? Whenever you go to someone’s home hide a gift — limburger cheese, a comic, golf ball, dead rose, rat poison, 3-tine fork with on tine missing.
? Put candy in a plastic bag inside an empty Epsom Salts box. Liz did that with M & Ms for Hazel.
? If they like premium beer give them the cheapest beer you can buy.
? Plan a black-tie evening and take your guest to a White Castle in a limo.
? When they turn 50, sign them up to AARP.
? Make sure their name is on all the junk mail lists.
? Put For Sale, For Rent or For Lease sign on their property before they come back from vacation
? If they like Fords, send Chevrolet stuff, John Deere, send Case; denim, gingham; glass, plastic; anything but what they like.
? When serving sandwiches, put fake hamburger in the buns.
? Plastic dog droppings are always good.
? Dye a t-shirt purple, but make sure it will bleed onto their skin when worn.
? Take gin bottle filled with water to their party.
? Send black flowers, black crepe paper, black clothes or black balloons on a 30th, 40th or 50th birthday.
? Mail birthday, anniversary, invitation and get-well messages on used cards for any occasion.
? Send someone else’s name to Miss Manners or Dr. Fashion.
I asked Liz if anyone was ever offended by one of her ‘tricks.?
She admitted they had, and said she had adopted this personal rule:
When in doubt, don’t.
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Liz’s husband was not forgotten when when it came to ‘tricks.?
The note taped to the ceiling over their bed read:
Kiss Mrs. Baldwin good night.