We open presents so fast on Christmas we seldom look to see who the presenter is. That’s why I don’t know who gave me the book, ‘Nature Calls: The history, Love and Charm of Outhouses.?
What a great remembrance gift for those of us who made that daily trip through rain and snow and dark of night. Oh, the outhouses I have known.
You’ve probably heard this definition of an outhouse from an elder: ‘A little house behind a big house, about 100 yards away. In winter, it’s 100 yards too far. In the summertime, it’s 100 yards too close.?
You might have even heard some outhouse rules: Keep your shoes on. Smokers and left-handers sit to the left. Refill catalog and corncob box when empty. Don’t discuss your condition with other occupants.
We lived on farms the first 12 years of my life. But even when we lived in the town of Vernon, we could only get relief out-of-doors. At 13, the family took up residence in the ‘big? town of Owosso, where the Shiawassee River flowed.
The one-room country schools I attended, Knaggs Bridge, Garrison and Fremont, had dual facilities, his and hers. To leave during class we had the l-finger and 2-finger code telling teacher our particular need.
I don’t know how the girls handled it, but few boys went inside ‘the house? to do number one. Aw, the girls went inside I’m sure, they were all so nice and perfect. They got all the A’s and blackboard cleaning. Hated those teachers? pets.
We only once had a 1-holer at home. Usually there were three, just like the mama bear, papa bear and baby bear. No way did one size fit all. I only recall one of our outhouses having a bucket and not a trench. That one had a single hole.
I also recall having been ordered to empty the pail only once. That was Daddy’s job, which I think he did in the dark of night. We lived high above the Shiawassee River and Dad’s delivery went over the bank.
Sometime during those outhouse years, when we were mature enough, mother told a story of a family gathering in the winter, when her aunt treaded to the facility. Mother said, ‘When my aunt came back into the house she said, ‘Darn, I could have done that in here!??
Privy is another name for outhouse, and does Webster do a job on that one: ‘A small building having a bench with holes through which the user may evacuate, and usually lacking means of discharge.?