Some ‘sports? are ruining sport watching

Will Rogers said, ‘Get someone else to blow our horn and the sound will carry twice as far.?
I watch a lot of sports on television. The majors, baseball, football and basketball get most of my sports viewing time.
Please note I wrote ‘viewing? time. None of them get much of my listening time. The networks put three people in the microphone booth and at least one on the sidelines to tell me what I’ve seen.
I think I know what I’ve seen. However, these promoters are so unsure of what’s shown they have introduced challenges to plays. Did the Pistons? shooter have his foot on the 3-point line?
Stop the play and check it!
Did the runner’s foot hit the chalk line? Stop the game and review it.
They are making a 3-hour game last four hours. I don’t need or want all that incessant, vocal droning and replays.
But, that’s not my big objection. What’s got my dander up are the show-offs, the Neanderthals, the jerks who show their egotistical ways for just doing their jobs.
A tackle makes a tackle, as his contract expects, then crouches down as he walks away from the other players to display his arrogance in an open field.
A split-end catches a ball, as his contract expects, in the end zone then makes love to the goalpost, jumps into the stands or kneels in solitude.
A batter hits a home run, then stands at the plate to add emphasis to his accomplishment that has never before been achieved by another human.
Basketball players begin their approach to the basket from center court and soar to exaggerate a 2-point play. Simply laying the ball over the rim and into the basket won’t do. The egos, especially in pro sports, are so huge ordinary fans won’t appreciate them unless sickening emphasis is added.
Bring back Barry Sanders, the Detroit Lions of yore running back who, after he scored touchdown handed the ball to the referee and trotted back to his teammates on the sidelines.
We’ll forever blow his horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Seriously, folks, have you ever been prouder of our so-called representatives in Washington? Lansing, too, for that matter.
Let’s petition for another election on Groundhog Day. Seems like a good day to clean the sty.
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Whoa, horsey! Let’s do something to get out of this negative mood. Maybe a limerick will help?
In the Garden of Eden sat Adam,
Disporting himself with his madam.
She was filled with elation,
For in all of creation
There was only one man–and she had’m.
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If you like to sew and travel, might I suggest you get a job like a niece of ours has. She’s a seamstress on a cruise line. Her holiday letter this year says she has sailed to Australia, Italy, Tangiers, Alaska and a couple other places.
Primarily she works on costumes of entertainers aboard the ships.
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Here’s a stress management idea for 2009.
Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place, except you.. You are in total seclusion from that place called ‘the world.? The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water.