Two years ago this week, I wrote the following column. Read the end to find out, as Paul Harvey says, the rest of the story.
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Excuse me for a moment while I find my ‘thick-skinned? suit which comes complete with knuckle dragging sleeves and gloves.
Z-i-i-p-p!
There, it’s on. And since I am at it, I might as well don my protruding eye-browed Neanderthal headgear.
Ah, fits perfectly.
Now that I am sufficiently protected from the slings and arrows that will undoubtedly be thrown at me, I can resume this chapter in the Annals of Don’trushmedom or How I Screw Up the World, One Column at a Time. And remember, this is just my opinion, I have not been coerced into this by the He-man Women Haters Club, the skin-heads, neo-cons or the radical Christian right.
Uhmmm, ladies, don’t take this wrong, but I don’t think local chambers of commerce should not segregate the sexes. They should be as one.
I don’t think there should be a Women of The Chamber group. I don’t believe local chambers should promote a Women’s Expo. I’m thinking that women’s subgroups in an all-inclusive business organization is backward, pre-1950’s thinking. It’s like the good ol? boys club, in reverse. I am sure a ‘Women of the Chamber? group is something June Cleaver would enjoy and maybe even Carol Brady. I don’t think Helen Reddy would sing the praises of Chamber Women roaring and learning to do business.
It’s not that I believe women shouldn’t have their cake and eat it, too. There are, I believe, ‘women’s? groups — the ones that come to mind are the American Business Women’s Association and the Red Hat Society. But you know, I don’t think there are any ‘men’s? groups since Rotary International let chicks join. (Not that there was anything wrong with that. Let me restate that it was, and is, a good thing.)
In my enlightened thought process, a local chamber of commerce should not put any part of its resources towards any single segment of membership. For example there shouldn’t be a ‘Red Heads of the Chamber,? nor should there be ‘Beer Bellies of the Chamber.? (Even though both groups sound like they would be fun to join.)
So, instead of having a ‘Women’s Expo? where vendors woo women and where improving women’s health is topic number one, there should be a Businesspersons Expo. At this expo, vendors can woo all business owners and managers and the health of both businesswomen and men can be discussed.
Wasn’t this the whole point of women’s suffrage and bra-burning? Wasn’t America ‘sposed to do away with gender-biases? Whatever happened to equality, holding hands and singing, ‘Michael, row your boat ashore??
Come on, I mean, men are businesspeople, too. Men pay their dues to the local chambers of commerce, just as businesswomen do. Don’t we all climb out of bed and put our pants on the same way: one leg at a time? I don’t see any extra effort being made to help business dudes. Nor should there be.
Folks join local chambers of commerce for one reason only: To better their business. Business people join local chambers to make more profits, to get better insurance rates, make new contacts and network. Making the community a better place to live is a nice bonus, but only secondary to making a profit. You see, you have to make a profit (care for your family and employees) before you can turn around, give some of your profits/time to make the community a better place to live.
Just as it is my position there shouldn’t be a ‘women of the chamber? group, I don’t think there should be a ‘men of the chamber? subgroup, either. I think local chambers of commerce should focus all their recourses on helping all their local members turn a profit.
There. I said my piece. I know nothing will change, but I at least feel better. Now, there is nothing for me to do except wait for the inevitable, which if you remember is why I zipped up tight into my ‘thick-skinned? suit in the first place.
Note to readers: if there is a ‘Best of Don? column next week, or no column at all, you’ll know my suit didn’t work. Look up into the trees as you enter town, I’ll be the guy who’s tarred and feathered.
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After this column was published, the chambers have changed their direction. They now openly claim, these groups are — as I suggested, for women. Men, I’ll say it again, our time is limited.
Comments for the soon-to-be ‘late? Mr. Sexist Rush can be e-mailed to: dontrushemdon@charter.net