By Susan Bromley

Staff Writer

Brandon Twp.- The majority of child sexual abuse is not perpetrated by a stranger, but by someone the victim knows, and nearly half the time, by another child.

“On a weekly basis, we take a sexual abuse case involving a child, and more often than not, it is child on child,” said Oakland County Sheriff’s Office Lt. Greg Glover, noting that a child is considered anyone under the age of 17. “These are criminal cases, there is usually an older child that is grooming or preying on a child much younger than they are.”

These “cases of opportunity” are on the increase, Glover said, and often involve 13-, 14-, or 15-year-olds hanging out with children as young as 5-, 6- or 7-years-old.

Police do not release these reports as they involve minors, but they are common and involve lengthy investigations. One of the most recent cases involved a 13-year-old and a 5-year-old who had been permitted to be alone in a room together, which Glover said should raise a red flag. It was discovered a sexual crime had occurred when a parent questioned why the victim was washing his hands excessively.

Helping with these investigations is CARE House Oakland County, a non-profit child advocacy center which conducts interviews with children who have been abused. The center is one of 800 in the country, and one of only 25 in Michigan, with a goal of working with children who are victims of abuse and neglect.

According to statistics provided by the Michigan Chapter of the National Children’s Alliance, available at carehouse.org, one in four girls and one in six boys will be abused before the age of 18 and the overwhelming majority of abused children know their abuser. Approximately 40 percent are abused by older or larger children they know. The median age for reported abuse is 9-years-old, and 20 percent of children are sexually abused before the age of 8.

“Stranger danger is what used to be taught, but 90 percent of children who are abused, they know, and the parents trust, the person abusing them,” said Pat Rosen, executive director of CARE House of Oakland County. “The responsibility to keep children safe is everyone’s responsibility.”

Knowing the facts about child sexual abuse is the first step in protecting your child from becoming a victim. Parents can also minimize opportunity, by eliminating or reducing children being in isolated, one-on-one situations with other adults or youth and having open conversations with children about body safety, sex, and boundaries.

According to Darkness to Light, d2l.org, symptoms of child sexual abuse include emotional or behavioral changes, including “too perfect” behavior, withdrawal and depression, unexplained anger and rebellion as well as sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate.

“Are their grades dropping in school, do they not want to go to school? Are they not showering or are they washing excessively?” asked Glover. “These are cues that something may be wrong, don’t be afraid to talk to your kids about it. If you suspect something is not right, you need to be able to talk… A lot of these kids become very withdrawn, they aren’t hanging out with friends or leaving the house.”

Rosen notes that parents need to have meaningful conversations with their kids and listen.

“Children spend many hours with technology and few in conversation with adults,” she said. “No one wants to talk about these things, but people need to have that conversation, even among themselves.”

If a child discloses sexual abuse, believe them. Very few incidents of reported abuse are false. Do not overreact, as it may make the child feel even more ashamed and guilty or cause them to shut down, change or retract the story, or change the story to match questions. Thank the child for telling and praise their courage for doing so. Encourage them to talk without asking leading questions, which can alter their memory. The best thing to do is to report all cases of suspected abuse, both inside and outside the immediate family and seek help from trained professionals, including those at CARE House.

“We have six to seven therapists on staff, who are well trained in trauma therapy to break the cycle of abuse,” said Rosen. “Some people say, ‘How do you work there, how can you be involved with this everyday?’ But CARE House is a happy place and when a child comes here, we know we can help them and help their families.”

For more information or to learn how you can volunteer, visit

www.carehouse.org or call 248-332-7173.