It must be genetic.
There has to be something in my Deoxyribonucleic acid that makes me such an expert. My blue-collar dad was always fussy about how his clothes fit. The buttons on his shirt had to line up with his belt buckle and zipper on his trousers. I think he called it his ‘gig line.?
His father, John Joseph Jeremiah Rush, over 6 feet tall, with a 28-inch waste and barrel chest, was a clothes model in Detroit in the 1920s.
Is it any wonder why I am considered by almost everybody in the universe as a fashion GOD?
I know, it is a hard burden to carry, but I have broad shoulders. I can handle the responsibility and I am about to share with you, my minions, that my fashion-maven spidy senses really start to tingle when the temperatures fall.
(Time out! I just Googled maven to see how it was spelled — with an I or an E . . . maven is from the Yiddish word ‘meyvn.? Who woulda thunk it? Learn something new all the time! Now back to this ‘gem? of a column.)
Guess what? Forty-degree mornings and 50-something-degree days have opened the clothes closet to my soul.
My dazzlingly skilled, and well-honed fashion senses are tingling so powerfully that were I a spider, my entire 1,800-square-foot money-pit-of-a-home would be covered with a fine, silk-like web.
But alas, I ain’t a spider, just a man with a plan. And that plan (in a word, though it’s really two) is SWEATER VEST.
Bam! There it is, in writing: The Secret To My Fashion success.
With the fall weather comes my spectacularly wonderful, and ever-growing sweater vest collection.
What?
You don’t dig the sweater vest look?
How about khaki slacks? Your thoughts on white, puffy tennis shoes?
How about tan colored, lace-up shoes?
Okay, how about this look . . . blue jeans (with a crease in the legs), Hawaiian shirt, blue sports jacket? How about the creased blue jeans, Hawaiian shirt, blue sports jacket, accompanied with the white, puffy tennis shoes?
Are you doubting my legendary status in the Metro Detroit fashion scene?
It’s the time of year when those of us with dangly bits and with true fashion sense really shine. I think this is the time of the year when those of you without dangly bits (women) secretly long for, too. This is the time of year your hearts beat a little faster, your palms sweat a little more, your legs wobble and your heads swoon. How can you not have feelings of deep longing when you see those of us with fashion moxy walking down the aisle at the local grocery wearing (from top to bottom): unbuttoned flannel shirt, contrasting colored tee, tucked into khaki shorts atop white crew socks that stick out of dark work boots?
I ask you, what’s not to love about that fall fashion look?
Yup.
My fall fashion senses are, as the trendy social media types like to so, ‘on Fleek.? Spot on. Truly on point.
Ladies, if you need your man to follow my lead into the fine, fall fashion world, drop me a line. I will gladly offer my services for a small consulting fee.
What can I say? I have a talent, a gift when it comes to men’s fashion. And, when you’re so gifted, why be stingy with it?
Am I right?
I believe in sharing my love of fashion with the world. Maybe we should start a new fashion movement, Fashion by Don, and start it here in the Metro Detroit area. I am sure that will help the local economy.
Ahem.
* * *
One thing that is kinda a bummer about this time of year — the transition from warm weather to cooler weather — is the politics of office temperatures.
With a sweater vest comes the long sleeve shirts. The combo of both of these garments is a feeling of warmth. See, fashion can be functional!
Then why is it the womenfolk want to wear what they did two months ago and bump up the thermostat to 75? I am looking at the thermometer in my office as I type (yes, I can and often do type without looking where my fingers are on the keyboard) and it reads 78 degrees! It is 56 degrees and misty outside and nearly 80 in the office. I have a fan on in my office.
Maybe I will have to take off the sweater vest, then long-sleeved shirt, and show off my ‘home grown? sweater. That’ll show ’em!
Comments, concerns, suggestions — your thoughts can be e-mailed to Don@ShermanPublications.org