By Dr. Janet McPeek
President of Crossroads for Youth

As a parent, you want your child’s online experiences to be safe, educational and entertaining.
But today’s cyber-technology environment can be challenging, especially when it comes to the social networking sites.
The first thing parents should do is gather information when their child uses a new form of online social activity.
This puts adults in a much better position to protect their child.
First, know the basics. A social networking site is a place on the Internet where a user creates a profile and builds a personal network connecting him or her to other users.
The profiles often include the posting and sharing of photographs. Users decide whether to have an ‘open? or ‘restricted? page.
An open page allows anyone to contact them, while a restricted page requires permission from the user before contact can be established.
The most popular sites among adolescents and young adults are MySpace, Facebook, MyYearbook, Friendster, Tagged, Hi5 and Xanga.
Over the past several years, MySpace and Facebook have rocketed from a niche activity to a phenomenon that engages tens of millions of Internet users.
Fifty-five percent of American youths ages 12 to 17 use online social networking sites, according to a national survey of teenagers conducted by the Pew Internet & American Life Project.
The survey also found that older teens ? particularly girls ? are more likely to use these sites than boys.
Girls primarily use social networking sites to reinforce existing friendships, while boys use the sites to flirt and make new friends.
Most parents are concerned about privacy and photograph sharing on social networking sites.
Depending upon the site, there may be little or no restrictions on the content of posted photographs.
Consequently, there are user profiles containing inappropriate photos of young people ? sometimes engaged in illegal activities ? along with names and addresses of the users.
When children post personal information on social networking sites, they may unwittingly expose themselves to online sexual predators.
Additionally, many employers and colleges scan these sites to gather information about applicants and make decisions on whether to hire or admit them.
Here’s how you can help your child use the Internet safely:
* Do not rely on the sites to protect your family. Unfortunately, popular social networking sites have not employed the necessary safeguards for children.
* Act sooner, rather than later. Look at your child’s social networking sites on a regular basis and never feel that you have to apologize for being a concerned, responsible parent.
* Find out what your child wants to get out of their site and discuss some of the harmful things that can happen if he or she is not careful.
More importantly, don’t approach this subject as something you have to ‘put up with.? It’s not all bad. Sometimes new things can have a positive, unintended impact.
For example, some shy kids are better at communicating via social networking sites than they are face-to-face. Think about it.
Today’s kids are basically doing the same things we did when we were their age. It’s just that the communication methods have changed.

By Dr. Janet McPeek
Crossroads for Youth President

If there ever was a time for Black History Month to take on even more meaning, this February would be it.
Last month our country inaugurated its first African-American president.
Black History Month gives us another opportunity to reflect even further on this historic event.
The celebration of Black History Month is important to everyone, not just African-Americans.
It’s another opportunity to remind our kids what it means to be part of the extended American family.
I believe common experiences ? for better or worse ? are what ultimately bonds families together.
And our common experiences as Americans created the social environment that enabled us to elect our first African-American president.
Americans have been through a lot together. The presidential election and the excitement of Inauguration Day showed the world that Americans are able to find common ground even among our differences.
Don’t let these lessons go unnoticed in your family.
Take time during Black History Month to reflect on how far we’ve progressed in our cultural attitudes so your children can be inspired to form bonds with other members of our American family.
I was in high school typing class when the news came that Martin Luther King, Jr. had been assassinated. I remember feeling shocked and saddened.
The ensuing riots changed my life and the lives of many of my friends in ways we never could have imagined.
Because I was raised in a racially and ethnically diverse environment, separation and overt racism were not a part of my life.
I considered everyone in my circle of friends to be an extended member of my family and I knew this was atypical at that time in our country’s history.
So I was shocked when a couple of years later, many of my black friends joined militant organizations in college.
These were turbulent times and those movements forbid their members from affiliating with white people.
That was difficult for me, because until then my friends and I had always been very close.
The experience left a deep impression on me, but eventually we all re-connected.
Because of those experiences, I look forward to observing Black History Month with my friends and family. I’m pleased that it has grown into a national observance celebrated by members of all cultures and ethnicities.
The lesson for our kids is not so much about politics, but about how to treat people.
Our young people have to be prepared to interact with the extended American family, as well as the world family.
Cultural understanding, tolerance and empathy will be essential social tools for the next generation.
And embracing the celebration of Black History Month is one way to develop those skills.
When one group celebrates the achievements and triumphs of another, we all win.
And that’s a great example to set for our kids.

Crossroads for Youth is a nonprofit agency located in Oxford that helps troubled youth.

A column by Dr. Janet McPeek
President of Crossroads for Youth

The tradition of New Year’s resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. when Janus, a mythical king of early Rome, was placed at the head of the calendar. With two faces ? one on the front of his head and one on the back ? Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. At midnight on December 31st the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new one. And it was Janus to whom many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies before the beginning of each year, making him the ancient symbol for resolutions.
Every year millions of Americans engage in the ritual of making New Year’s resolutions. Some will succeed, some will not. The most common resolutions are those concerning diet and health. Increasingly those concerns include children. What is the secret to success for your family’s New Year’s resolutions? One answer is to not go it alone. Studies show that interaction and relationships play a critical role in the long-term health and well-being of individuals and families. So if health and exercise resolutions are on your list this year, getting your whole family involved is essential to making those resolutions work. As modern families struggle to balance work and their personal lives, the need to connect as a family over health issues is as strong as ever.
Our nation is facing a dramatic health crisis among youth. It is estimated that nearly nine million children are overweight or obese. A startling 16 percent of children in the United States have Type II diabetes. And according to the New England Journal of Medicine, the current generation of American children could be the first to lead shorter lives than their parents.
While current health statistics clearly illustrate why it’s important for kids to lead healthier lifestyles, many organizations also believe that well-connected families play a critical role in how to make it happen. Look at the facts:
* Participating in family rituals that foster togetherness and communication is strongly linked to adolescent mental health.?
* Teens who eat regularly with their families have better grades and less depression and substance abuse than kids who frequently eat on their own.
* University studies show that young kids and teens who eat regularly with their families eat more fruits, vegetables, fiber and whole grains and consume less soda and snack foods. (Source: www.YMCA.net)
The good news is that small changes can have a major impact.’The Centers for Disease Control found that participating in moderate physical activity such as walking for 30 minutes at least five times a week substantially lowered the risk of heart disease, stroke, colon cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity. And introducing healthy habits early can have lifelong benefits. Children who develop healthy exercise and eating habits while young are more likely to continue to lead healthy lifestyles as adults.
Setting goals that balance, nurture and strengthen spirit, mind and body are key to helping parents improve the quality of life for their children. Make it fun and be flexible. If you stumble, don’t let it get to you. Just get back up and start over again. Include activities you did in the past that were particularly fun for your family. And remember to write down your goals. Things that get written get done!
New Year’s resolutions can be a fun way to dedicate more time to the family. If diet and health are part of your New Year’s resolution goals, make sure to include the whole family. Making the commitment together will greatly improve everybody’s chances of success.

By Dr. Janet McPeek
President of Crossroads for Youth

During the summer I wrote about how to talk to your kids about the economy. Back then, who knew the economy would get even worse, but it has. And now that the holiday shopping season is here, many families are feeling even more of a strain on their household budgets, especially families with children.
Christmas can be tricky for young people. They can’t help but compare themselves to their peers, especially at Christmas time. And even though kids seem to have an inner mechanism that helps them deal with challenges, no matter how strong they look on the outside, they still need our support.
How can you talk to your kids about the economy in a way that won’t frighten them or further compound the disturbing news coming from the media? And how can you help them understand the difference between ‘needs? and ‘wants? especially during the holiday season?
Talking to your kids about these things can go a long way toward reducing holiday stress.
Every situation is different and you should mentally assess yours before beginning any discussion with your child. In this down economy, some people can cut back on items like eating out, cable television, health club memberships, travel, trips to the bookstore, etc. But for those whom frugality was a necessity before, they have to look even harder now at what they can cut back on or do without.
For some folks, it’s not, ‘Let’s go to the library instead of the bookstore.? It’s ‘Do we really need to burn the gas to get to the library this week??
On the other hand, kids whose families couldn’t afford things like vacations to begin with, may not be feeling the effects of the economy as much as kids from families who took regular vacations. The category you belong to will guide you in your discussion.
One thing you might want to talk about is tightening up the purse strings and getting your kids involved in the decision-making process when it comes to spending the family’s income.
You may want to make the decision as a family to cut out cable television (don’t assume your child won’t agree to this). You may want to stop buying books for now and check out books from the library. This can save the average family about $150 a month. And you can spend that money on school supplies or clothing.
If you think your family might miss cable television too much there are always Web sites like Hulu.com. Hulu is an online video service that offers free TV shows, movies and clips.
What if your child wants something that he or she doesn’t really need?
Have a frank discussion with them about it and explain the difference between needs and wants. Even a small child can understand this. And for older kids this can be an opportunity for them to start earning their own money.
Additional lessons about saving money, using cash instead of credit and the value of a dollar can all be taught during these conversations.
If your child has a ‘want? item, suggest that they do chores around the house or elsewhere to save for that. Just know that your child will be watching you as an example of what is taught.
If you’re talking the talk, but not walking the walk, these conversations will eventually fall on deaf ears.
Remember, this may be the first time some kids have experienced an economic downturn. So it’s up to you as a parent to help them navigate.
Whatever you decide, it is always good for kids to know what the financial reality is in their household. Hopefully it will translate into good money-making decisions when they are adults.

A column by Dr. Janet McPeek
President of Crossroads for Youth

Thanksgiving Day is rapidly approaching and given the state of our local economy, I suspect that some of you might be wondering, ‘What in the world do I have to be thankful for in this economy ? and how am I going to afford Thanksgiving dinner??
You or your spouse may be unemployed, you could be struggling to pay the bills, or you could be saying ‘no? to your kids a bit more often.
Whatever your economic concerns, remember you don’t have to spend a lot of money to make Thanksgiving Day special for your kids.
Remember the Pilgrims ? the original celebrators of Thanksgiving? They didn’t have much, even by their standards.
Their children didn’t view Thanksgiving as a gateway to Christmas. And they didn’t wake up early the next morning to take their kids shopping.
They combined their resources, gave thanks for what they had, and enjoyed the comfort and support of family and friends on Thanksgiving Day.
Their willingness to help each other and show gratitude for their blessings can be an inspiration to your family on Thanksgiving and it doesn’t have to be expensive.
Our kids may be bombarded with more advertising messages than ever before, but your influence is still paramount in how your children view and celebrate Thanksgiving and other holidays.
If your family is experiencing financial difficulties this holiday season ? or even if you’re not ? you can draw on the timeless example of the Pilgrims. Don’t go it alone.
If you want to host Thanksgiving Day dinner at your house make it a potluck dinner. Invite family, friends and neighbors and ask them to bring a dish.
Plan ahead so you can take advantage of sales like day-old bread at the bakery or the grocery store manager’s special on meat. Look for less expensive alternatives for side dishes and scale down the amount of food you buy.
This will eliminate leftovers that don’t get eaten.
If Thanksgiving Day dinner at your house is important to your family then get everybody involved and make planning a priority. Do without large portions of food for a few days or weeks before Thanksgiving.
And whatever you do to make ends meet, don’t apologize for it.
Enjoy the day and give thanks that you were able to pull it off. Use your sense of humor and be thankful that you have a freezer ? and the Pilgrims didn’t.
With many families having less disposable income right now, this might also be a good year to change the way you spend the day after Thanksgiving.
If you aren’t financially ready to visit the mall, make plans to stay home with your kids. You’ll be able to take that trip to the mall later.
The day after Thanksgiving could just as easily be enjoyed with games, trying new recipes for leftovers, reading to your kids, watching TV or snuggling.
You can pump money into the economy later, when it’s more convenient for you and your family.
While it is true that Michigan and the country have seen better days, there is still plenty for which to be thankful.
This year, give thanks that you will be spending more time with your kids around the Thanksgiving holiday, as the economy heads toward improvement.

By Dr. Janet McPeek
President of Crossroads for Youth

Halloween is one of the world’s oldest holidays.
It is celebrated in several countries around the globe.
The word ‘Halloween? has its origins in the Catholic Church. It’s a contraction of ‘All Hallows Eve,? which refers to the evening before All Hollows Day, also known as All Saints Day.
Catholics observed this holiday on November 1st, but the practice of observing Halloween in October started in Celtic Ireland during the 5th century B.C.
Summer officially ended there on October 31st and this holiday was called Samhain (pronounced sow-in), meaning ‘end of summer.?
The October 31st observance of Halloween was introduced to America when more than 700,000 people from Ireland immigrated to the United States between 1845 and 1850 during the Irish Potato Famine.
Today, we observe Halloween in many different ways.
Younger children dress up in costumes and go trick-or-treating, while many older kids dress up and host parties for younger children.
Even adults get into the act by wearing costumes and having parties. Whatever your plans are for this Halloween, make it a safe one. Here are some tips to remember:
? Children should wear costumes that are light colored or contain reflective material. This ensures that drivers can see your kids when they’re out walking or crossing the street after dark.
? If you’re driving your child to a party or a trick-or-treat destination, don’t let them get out of the car on the street side. Let them out on the sidewalk or the part of the road farthest from traffic.
? If your child is wearing a long costume, make sure the hem of the garment doesn’t pose a tripping hazard.
? If you live on a high porch with lots of steps, come downstairs so kids wearing longer costumes won’t have to risk tripping over their garment to get to your treats.
? If another adult is taking your child trick-or-treating, know the route your kids will be taking and set a time when they should be home. Make sure the adult and child know the importance of returning home on time.
? If you’re staying home to welcome trick-or-treaters make sure your house is well-lit and safe for young visitors.
? If your house is off the beaten path take your candy to a neighbor’s house that is more easily accessible. Find a senior in the community who might be home alone passing out candy and keep them company so they feel safe. This is also a good way for your older child to contribute.
? If you have older kids who will be out on Halloween night, explain to them the consequences of ‘tricks,? which are most likely to be viewed as vandalism. For example, throwing eggs at a house may seem like fun but they need to know the flip side of the coin as well. Clean-up and damages can get them into serious trouble and ruin Halloween. If your child is caught vandalizing, make them clean up the mess they’ve made and cooperate fully if the authorities become involved. Clear rules and supervision are the best approach to preventing any vandalism occurrences.
? Always inspect your child’s candy before you let them eat it. Some fire and police departments host after-parties for trick-or-treaters where candy is scanned for foreign objects. Many of these locations can be found by logging on to your local fire or police department Web sites.
Finally, remember not everyone feels the same way about Halloween.
For some younger kids Halloween can be very scary.
Talk to your kids before they go out to make sure they’re mentally and emotionally prepared, and teach them to say ‘thank you? at every house.

Dr. Janet McPeek
President of Crossroads for Youth

There’s a lot of talk these days about corruption, lack of leadership and infidelity among our local, regional and national politicians.
It seems not a day goes by that we aren’t confronted with yet another embarrassing mistake by one of our public officials.
As parents, this can make us feel powerless because it’s our job to help kids analyze and understand the images they are exposed to every day.
And make no mistake; our children are listening and watching.
Surely they are wondering, ‘Who can you trust??
If you’re a parent, this doesn’t have to be a powerless moment. There are positive lessons that can be taught from witnessing the mistakes of our leaders.
First, tell your child that these situations are no different from anything else we see or hear about on the news.
The reports are out of the ordinary and are most likely to get attention, whether negative or positive.
They are not the stories of everyday people doing everyday normal things, which is much more widespread.
What we see and hear in the news are usually stories of abnormalities involving a small number of people.
Help your kids understand this so they can keep things in proper perspective.
Make it clear to your child that all people make mistakes, but we hold public officials to a higher standard because their actions have the ability to affect so many people. They sign up for this when they choose to run for public office. That’s why it is newsworthy when a politician falters.
Second, emphasize the flip side of the coin. Ask your child about any leaders or politicians they admire.
There are many outstanding leaders and the ideal way for kids to learn how to look at and compare both sides of an issue should be taught at home.
You might be surprised at your child’s political leanings, especially if it differs from your own.
This could provide an opportunity for the family to critique the political TV ads during the presidential election.
Set a good example by watching the news with your kids or taking them to some of the public forums and political rallies.
There will be many opportunities for this over the next few weeks as the presidential election heats up. Take them to see and hear both Democrat and Republican candidates. This will make them good political consumers.
Younger children especially need to be guided since many of the images and words coming from TV and radio can be overwhelming.
Remember, if you’re shocked by some things you’ve seen and heard lately, just imagine what your child must be thinking.
Finally, stress the importance of voting.
It’s a privilege and responsibility that some Americans had to fight for and it’s the ultimate system of checks and balances.
Tell your child that as an adult, whenever he or she is unhappy with a politician they can vote them out.
That’s what democracy is all about.

By Dr. Janet McPeek
President, Crossroads for Youth

Parents and kids can still get a lot out of the last days of summer without planning activities around a holiday.
You’d be surprised how many fun and educational things you can do with your kids.
For example, plan a family meal that doesn’t include a take-out order or use of the stove.
Consider sandwiches, fresh fruit and salads.
Go through your cupboards and figure out what you can eat without turning on the stove or the grill, even if that means peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, milk and popsicles for dinner.
Make it fun and prepare the meal together as a family.
Plan some weekends that are free of plans.
When a weekend rolls around, plan to do nothing. Sit on the porch or in the backyard and watch your kids play.
Turn off the electronics ? no Game Boy, TV or computer.
Just spend time with your kids. Play games like croquet, badminton, horseshoes, ring-toss, volleyball, bocce ball, cards, dominoes or whatever you have available.
Once you’ve tried a weekend or two without plans, take the kids on a fun, educational and inexpensive outing.
Some of the places I’ve always enjoyed with my family are the Detroit Science Center, Detroit Zoo, Cranbrook Gardens, Seven Ponds Nature Center in Dryden and Greenfield Village in Dearborn.
And don’t forget about free activities.
Visit the RiverWalk in downtown Detroit or attend Pontiac’s Arts, Beats & Eats festival.
Oxford offers several fun places and activities, such as Celebrate Oxford, Concerts in the Park, the beaches at Stony Lake and Scripter Park, and Kids Kingdom.
Whichever activities you choose, make the most of them because it won’t be long before school starts.