I have never claimed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, the brightest bulb in the box, toughest kid on the block, the prettiest face in the mirror, nor the wittiest clown under the big top, BUT . . . my heart flittered a wee bit this weekend whilst reading reader e-mail. Maybe a tear rolled down my cheek (but that’s okay, ‘cuz nobody saw it happen).
By jove, me thinks I was mocked! Not once, but a couple of times, by different readers on different subjects. Criminey, everybody’s a comedian. Well, let me stew for a second . . . folks that do know me, know I wear my stupid heart on my stupid sleeve at times, so maybe I’m just being a little sensitive (as sensitive as a hairy, knuckle-draggin? Neanderthal, he-man can be).
Read below, and let me know what you think.
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I received a little message, texted from a phone, to my e-mail in regards to a column I wrote on Sept. 30. In that column, headlined, Well, maybe this is why my knees hurt!, I delved into pain issues. I came to the conclusion my knees hurt, because I used to jump off the garage roof as a kid.
Unknown reader of the text-to-e-mail persuasion simply let me know, ‘try losing weight if your knees hurt.?
Yee-OUCH!
What was it Bon Jovi used to sing? Ah yes I remember, ‘Shot through the heart. And you’re to blame. Darling, you give love a bad name.?
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On October 7, I wrote about the love of cooler fall weather. Temperatures were starting to dip into the fifties and I anticipated whipping out and donning my sweater vests. (Of course, this was before a month of 60s and 70s that just ended last week. Go figure.)
In the column headlined, Fall is when my fashion senses shine! I admitted to the world, ‘I know, it is a hard burden to carry, but I have broad shoulders. I can handle the responsibility and I am about to share with you, my minions, that my fashion-maven spidy senses really start to tingle when the temperatures fall.?
I think some of you readers doubt my legendary status in the Metro Detroit fashion scene?
Here’s what reader Joe Gretka, formally of Leonard, wrote me:
Don, your column a few weeks back describing your fall fashion sense got me thinking about my own sense of style when the weather starts getting cooler. I thought I’d pass along a few tips to help with your future wardrobe choices. These changes are still on target when it comes to style and I know you’ll find them refreshing and possibly part of your future buying options.
First of all you can put away those puffy white tennis shoes (no white after Labor Day) and replace them with a nice black pair of shoes with the duel Velcro fasteners.
Second, get yourself one of those Reindeer sweaters. You know the ones every guy got for Christmas from some friend or relative? Now here’s the important part: Don’t wear the sweater, simply drape it on your back and tie the sleeves together in front of you.
Finally, don’t be afraid of the most important accessory – Suspenders!
The fall weather requires long pants and long pants equal sags and droops. Don’t choose the solid color narrow suspenders. Go for the wide bright or patterned style maybe with a colorful fall scene. The wider suspenders come with a larger and stronger clasp. This is important because not only will they hold up your pants comfortably you can also fasten the clasp to your underwear and kill two birds with one stone.
You’ll know you’re in step when you walk through a mall and watch the heads turn with the look of astonishment.
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Thanks, Joe — I think?
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So, I have been hearing about an effort afoot to open up and change the Michigan Constitution to put in verbiage stating something like, ‘It is unconstitutional to discriminate against anyone based on their sexuality, gender identity . . .? Something like that.
Since I am running out of space here this week, I will bring it up later with a more thought-out column. What I will say here is, I don’t like the idea of specifying who cannot be discriminated against, if only because that means everybody else not listed is fair game for discrimination.
Quite simply, if the state’s constitution will be opened and changed, it should say something like, ‘No person shall be discriminated against for any reason based on being born, living and breathing and not hurting anybody else.?
Hmm? But, what about red heads?
I will try to whip that one out for next week!