If Marilyn Szost could talk to her son just one more time, she would let him know how proud she is of all the progress he had made.
‘He tried as hard as he could to do the right thing in the last part of his life,? said the Addison resident.
Unfortunately, she won’t get that opportunity because Zonnie Olk-Szost, a Lake Orion High School graduate, died of drug intoxication July 30 in the parking lot of the Oxford McDonald’s. He was 29 years old.
Some evidence of opiates was found in his system, ‘but not a lot,? according to Szost. He had been battling a heroin addiction since his early 20s.
For Szost, Zonnie’s death came out of left field because, within the prior six months, he had been making so many positive strides to improve his life and reconnect with estranged siblings
‘I was expecting to get that (news) so often before, but not that time,? she said. ‘He was in such a good mood most of the time.?
She can’t bring her son back, but she can share his story and hopefully, give other parents some things to think about if they suspect their children are using drugs.
‘You can’t be in denial. You’ve got to see it for what it is,? Szost said. ‘Recognize the problem and do what’s best for your child, not what you want to do. That won’t protect every child, but I think it will have an impact. There’s no stigma to saving your child if they do have a problem.?
Zonnie’s experiences with drugs began when he started smoking marijuana at age 13 or 14.
‘The statistics (say if) you start using that early, you are going to be using later on in life,? Szost said.
She believes he started using drugs because ‘he was always kind of a rebel.?
Unfortunately, his love of taking risks and trying new things led him to begin experimenting with heroin when he was 18 or 19 years old.
By the time Zonnie was 22, he was addicted to heroin. But it wasn’t about the chasing the high anymore; it was about self-medicating.
Zonnie had issues with back pain and he was using heroin to manage it.
But instead of helping him, his drug addiction caused him to lose his successful HVAC business within a two-year span and led to multiple encounters with law enforcement and the criminal justice system.
‘He spent his 25th birthday in jail,? Szost said.
His criminal record came to include, among other things, a felony conviction for having a marijuana grow operation. With his business gone, he needed a source of income.
Being in the system limits employment options and teaches drug users ‘how to be better addicts,? resulting in an ‘abysmal? life, in Szost’s view.
She believes it’s a shame Zonnie trapped himself in that limited world because he had so much potential.
‘He was really smart (and) witty,? she said. ‘He could have been a great salesman or a lawyer because he could talk circles around everybody.?
For the longest time, all Zonnie cared about was his drug of choice.
‘Heroin starts to be your family,? she said. ‘You will lie, cheat and steal for your family and his family was his drug. That’s something people need to understand. They’ll do whatever they have to do to get that drug. You never want to get to that place.?
About five years ago, Szost, motivated by a mother’s natural instinct to save her child, invited Zonnie to move in with her. She truly thought she could help him.
‘I gave him my best shot,? she said. ‘I really did what I could. I’m not really sure what else I could have done.?
It appeared her efforts were finally paying off. For almost the last six months of his life, Zonnie had stopped using drugs and was thriving in a recovery program that was finally helping him sort out his issues and come to terms with his problems, his current situation and what his future could be. It looked like he had finally turned a corner.
Unfortunately, a setback in his personal life sent Zonnie into a depression and back to the needle about a week before he died.
Szost realized he was using again by the drastic change in his personality.
He had withdrawn from those around him. He didn’t want to talk to anybody and there was a darkness over him.
That wasn’t the Zonnie she knew.
‘He was really always social,? she said. ‘You can’t find a picture of him when he wasn’t with people. He loved to be around everybody.?
The bottom-line was Zonnie ‘acted guilty because he was disappointed in himself.?
‘He knew that he was failing himself,? Szost said. ‘And he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to stay clean.?
She confronted her son about his drug use. She told him to either quit or move out.
After that, he seemed to snap out of it. He was talking up a storm and making plans.
‘He was doing better,? Szost said.
That’s why it was such a shock when an Oakland County Sheriff’s deputy informed her of Zonnie’s death.
‘I never expected it because he had been doing well,? she said. ‘I really don’t know exactly what happened.?
Szost can’t bring her son back, but she hopes she can help other parents before it’s too late.
The main thing, in her view, is for parents to play their role. ‘Parents have to be parents,? Szost said. ‘It’s your job to be a parent, not their friend. You can be a kid’s friend when they get into their twenties, but until then, you need to be their parent.?
And don’t assume drug use is ‘just a phase.?
‘It could be a phase, but if you don’t deal with it, it’s going to become a lifestyle,? Szost said. ‘Part of it is facing reality.?
‘You can’t protect (kids) from everything, but (you can) give them the tools, (so) if there’s something wrong, (they can) work through it,? she added.