You know, every once in a while your hero (that would be me) stumbles across something that strikes reader nerves. Just like the time I wrote about my evil plan when raising my kids, and how they turned out to be fine young men (even though they need haircuts). Last week, I let a reader (Natalie) write what she thought of that trip down Don’t Rush Me Lane.
Hold on to your righteous indignations, because there’s more reader commentary coming your way.
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In reference to the “My Evil Plan gets reviewed by Natalie.”
What a BREATH of fresh air to read Natalie H’s response to Don’s column. I’d much rather read whatever thoughts this person has than the repetitive and antiquated diatribes of Don. Kudos to her for responding — as a parent to three, I agree that we need to let our kids be themselves and it is what is on the inside that matters. The rest is white noise. Natalie H. wrote: “Why do you care? You know your sons’ characters and personalities. If you feel you’ve raised them to be kind people, why does anything else matter?” Bravo.
Don’s response was anything but kind, he seems incapable of taking a step back and trying to understand his own prejudices and bias are hurtful and unkind, and can’t even acknowledge anything she pointed out, making a weak reference to Lord of the Flies. PLEASE. I repeat, PLEASE, can we please get Natalie a column and retire Don’s weekly installment? An avid reader, Lillian S. , Lake Orion.
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Don, thanks for not caving in to Natalie’s criticism. Oh, that may be too harsh—I meant Natalie’s perspective.
Your response to her was gentile, and likely kinder than some/many your sons received from you. In any event, your sons probably already thought you were stupid and/or insensitive/clueless/unknowing in many matters until they turned age 25 or so, but still came to you for address of issues only a dad can handle.
They also probably respect your adherence to a line or principle, and willingness to opine, and refusal to be a snowflake or just plain flake. I suspect they confided in you regularly, but also learned to handle a few things independently. You undoubtedly even offered advice and opinion when not asked, based on observations they never suspected.
A wise man with his own “firm views” once replied to my criticism of his approach with, “I’m your father, not your friend, and one day you’ll be smart enough to know the difference.” I think he even told me that, until then, shut my mouth and act like I have some sense. I figured it out by age 25, still missing him each day. Michael F., Clarkston.
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Thanks, Lillian and Michael for reading and caring enough to write! For the record my boys are both in their 20s, but yet to reach 25. Online readers were able to view a photo of what my sons wrote to me on last Fathers Day. Since you print readers were not afforded that luxury, here’s what they wrote:
“Thank you for being our dad. It means a lot to us how patient, wise and funny you are. A lot of dads I’ve seen rely too much on ‘tough love’ and ‘masculinity’ but you let us be our own men. Thank you for loving and watching out for us.” Sean.
To which Shamus added, “I would like to also say thank you, but Sean has out written me. Know I feel the same.”
I reckon the only criticism or praise on my parenting style really only needs to come from those two. The proof’s in the puddin.’
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Prior to my evil plan, I asked readers (in a roundabout way) if they take, or answer their cell phones in the bathroom. And . . .
Hi Don, Answer it? Of course; it might be an emergency! More often “NOT,” thankfully, but just in case. Not many people care to talk to me these days, since “turning” 81, although my “council” is invaluable and willingly shared with those who are intelligent enough to think it so, however not many do. Go figure. Sincerely, Haley.
Don, Prior to my retirement several years ago, I was talking to a colleague and heard his toilet flush. I immediately terminated the call (was gonna say “hung up” but it no longer fits) and a few minutes later, he called back and said “we were cut off.” I said “No John, we weren’t. You flushed your toilet and I was presented with a mental image which will take the rest of the day to eliminate.”
So….NO! Do NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE IN THE BATHROOM! S. L. S.
Don, my cell phone never rings as I don’t give my number out to ANYONE. I do have a land phone and everyone I know has that number but my cell phone is for MY use only.
P.S, I do enjoy your writing. Thank you. Dolores
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Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Keep it up! Send ‘em to DontRushDon@gmail.com