Every year when Valentine’s Day rolls around, we in the newsroom sit down and go through our phones, emails and Rolodexes to think of couples who have been married a number of years that we could talk to about the secret to a lasting marriage.
All of the couples we talk to have wonderful stories about how they met, about their struggles, and about how they persevered. But it always makes me think about the examples of marriage in my own life, and how they’ve impacted me today.
I always remember my parents saying that they were friends first. They met in high school, when my dad’s family moved during his junior year. My mom and her best friend were sitting together on the bus, and saw my dad and his younger brother getting on one morning, and my mom told her best friend that she thought he was cute. They became friends, and stayed friends until they were in their 20s and decided to date.
And to this day, I give that advice to other people, to be each other’s best friend. My husband Kyle and I have individual friends, but we’re still each other’s best friend, and that’s who we want to spend time with in our free time.
Actually, I’m a third generation of what I like to call somewhat high-school sweethearts. I couldn’t tell you when Kyle and I met because we went to the same school from kindergarten on, but we became friends in high school and dated after. My parents met in high school and didn’t seriously date until later. My grandparents dated when my mimi, Judy, was still in high school, but my papa, Corky, had graduated years prior, a classmate of one of her older brothers.
Anyone who has been in our office has probably seen a black and white photo behind my desk. It was of Judy and Corky at her junior prom in 1956, and it’s one of my favorite pictures of them.
I’ve heard many stories about them over the years, and despite both of them having a tough life, the message of their love stories is always the same: they had fun.
My great grandmother did not like Corky. He wore a leather jacket, rode a motorcycle and had hair like Elvis. As a side note, he wore leather jackets and rode a motorcycle quite literally up until the day he died. His hair did not last that long, and I only ever knew him as bald.
But Judy did not care. She wanted to be with him anyway. She snuck out to go on dates, and her mother even locked all the doors and windows so she couldn’t get back in without knocking on the door and getting caught. So Judy climbed through the milk chute to get back inside.
I’ve mentioned before that Judy dropped out of high school to get married at 17, though she did go on to get her GED, which I actually still have.
She went on to have her own travel agency, which took her around the world. While Corky didn’t like it at first, he started making sure that coming home was always better than going away by getting her a nice gift. My mom and aunt remember the time she came home and had a scavenger hunt through the house that ended in her finding a brand new sewing machine.
Along the same lines as being best friends, they always loved to spend time together. Judy adapted to having helmet hair so that she could go with him on bike rides, and Corky used to go shopping just so he could hold her bags and spend time with her. And they always had an active social life together.
My aunt recently told us about one New Years Eve when Judy got all dressed up in a pretty dress and heels and they went to a neighbor’s party while my aunt stayed home to babysit my mom. Well after midnight, when she was in bed, she got woken up by laughing outside. She threw open the window and saw that it had snowed. And since Judy was in heels, Corky was giving her a piggy-back ride home, traipsing through the snow, laughing like crazy so she didn’t have to walk in the snow in heels.
When one of them laughed, they both laughed. And in a bad situation, they found a way to have fun. And that was something they did for their 53 years of marriage.
This Valentine’s Day, have fun with your best friend. It goes a very, very long way.